Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #works #art #paintings #statues #cities #places

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It is undeniable that paintings and

art

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reflected

Wrong verb form

reflect

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the culture of a country.

Whereas

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some people believe that the

government

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should spend more

money

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on these works,

while

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it is a positive development, I believe that

this

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money

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should

also

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be spent on infrastructure.

To begin

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with, it has been obvious that

the

Correct article usage

show examples

work of

art

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such

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as building a statue is an extremely helpful idea in terms of

tourists’

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tourists

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attractions. The reason behind

this

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is that many tourists will have the motivation to visit a certain country to see its sightseeing, and

thus

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much more revenues will be added to a country’s budget.

In other words

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, the vast majority of people who visit New York City

Change preposition

for

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tourism will not leave the state without having seen the statue.

This

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statue added more and more benefits to the city. Having said that, if the

government

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does not spend more on these statues, people will not be able to recognize a city.

Moreover

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, by spending more

money

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this

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kind of

art

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, many artists will be encouraged to work harder and harder to grow a country’s culture.

Therefore

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this

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will

also

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assist them in improving their income.

For instance

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, Italy is

well-know

Correct your spelling

well-known

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for its artists.

This

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is because its

government

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motivated the artists by allowing them to present their

paints

Correct your spelling

paintings

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in every road and most crowded areas without being taxed or fined.

Due to

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this

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, Italy is now

Correct pronoun usage

one of

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the most beautiful countries in the world.

Nevertheless

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, the

government

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should

also

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be generous

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with

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infrastructure. Roads, bridges and even buildings should

also

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be maintained to reflect its beauty. In conclusion,

although

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spending more

money

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art

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is beneficial in terms of revenues and improving one’s life, the

government

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should not neglect the maintenance of other aspects.

Submitted by zaid.qassem1991 on Sun Sep 06 2020

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task response

Develop your ideas more fully and provide more detailed examples to support your points. Ensure that your essay clearly addresses all aspects of the prompt. Additionally, work on transitioning between ideas and paragraphs to improve the overall coherence of the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a generally logical structure, but there are areas where the connection between ideas could be improved. Work on using cohesive devices to link ideas and ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall progression of the essay.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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