Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is undeniable that paintings and
art
reflected
the culture of a country. Wrong verb form
reflect
Whereas
some people believe that the government
should spend more money
on these works, while
it is a positive development, I believe that this
money
should also
be spent on infrastructure.
To begin
with, it has been obvious that the
work of Correct article usage
a
art
such
as building a statue is an extremely helpful idea in terms of tourists’
attractions. The reason behind Change noun form
tourists
this
is that many tourists will have the motivation to visit a certain country to see its sightseeing, and thus
much more revenues will be added to a country’s budget. In other words
, the vast majority of people who visit New York City as
tourism will not leave the state without having seen the statue. Change preposition
for
This
statue added more and more benefits to the city. Having said that, if the government
does not spend more on these statues, people will not be able to recognize a city.
Moreover
, by spending more money
on this
kind of art
, many artists will be encouraged to work harder and harder to grow a country’s culture. Therefore
, this
will also
assist them in improving their income. For instance
, Italy is well-know
for its artists. Correct your spelling
well-known
This
is because its government
motivated the artists by allowing them to present their paints
in every road and most crowded areas without being taxed or fined. Correct your spelling
paintings
Due to
this
, Italy is now of
the most beautiful countries in the world. Correct pronoun usage
one of
Nevertheless
, the government
should also
be generous on
infrastructure. Roads, bridges and even buildings should Change preposition
with
also
be maintained to reflect its beauty.
In conclusion, although
spending more money
on art
is beneficial in terms of revenues and improving one’s life, the government
should not neglect the maintenance of other aspects.Submitted by zaid.qassem1991 on
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task response
Develop your ideas more fully and provide more detailed examples to support your points. Ensure that your essay clearly addresses all aspects of the prompt. Additionally, work on transitioning between ideas and paragraphs to improve the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a generally logical structure, but there are areas where the connection between ideas could be improved. Work on using cohesive devices to link ideas and ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall progression of the essay.