Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #works #art #paintings #statues #cities #places

It is undeniable that paintings and

art

reflected

Wrong verb form

reflect

show examples

the culture of a country.

Whereas

some people believe that the

government

should spend more

money

on these works,

while

it is a positive development, I believe that

this

money

should

also

be spent on infrastructure.

To begin

with, it has been obvious that

the

Correct article usage

show examples

work of

art

such

as building a statue is an extremely helpful idea in terms of

tourists’

Change noun form

tourists

show examples

attractions. The reason behind

this

is that many tourists will have the motivation to visit a certain country to see its sightseeing, and

thus

much more revenues will be added to a country’s budget.

In other words

, the vast majority of people who visit New York City

Change preposition

for

show examples

tourism will not leave the state without having seen the statue.

This

statue added more and more benefits to the city. Having said that, if the

government

does not spend more on these statues, people will not be able to recognize a city.

Moreover

, by spending more

money

this

kind of

art

, many artists will be encouraged to work harder and harder to grow a country’s culture.

Therefore

this

will

also

assist them in improving their income.

For instance

, Italy is

well-know

Correct your spelling

well-known

show examples

for its artists.

This

is because its

government

motivated the artists by allowing them to present their

paints

Correct your spelling

paintings

show examples

in every road and most crowded areas without being taxed or fined.

Due to

this

, Italy is now

Correct pronoun usage

one of

show examples

the most beautiful countries in the world.

Nevertheless

, the

government

should

also

be generous

Change preposition

with

show examples

infrastructure. Roads, bridges and even buildings should

also

be maintained to reflect its beauty. In conclusion,

although

spending more

money

art

is beneficial in terms of revenues and improving one’s life, the

government

should not neglect the maintenance of other aspects.

Submitted by zaid.qassem1991 on Sun Sep 06 2020

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task response

Develop your ideas more fully and provide more detailed examples to support your points. Ensure that your essay clearly addresses all aspects of the prompt. Additionally, work on transitioning between ideas and paragraphs to improve the overall coherence of the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a generally logical structure, but there are areas where the connection between ideas could be improved. Work on using cohesive devices to link ideas and ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall progression of the essay.

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries have severe problems with students behavior. what do you this are the cause of this? what solution can you suggest?

These days many kids spend a lot of their time playing computer games instead of doing sports. What is the cause of this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?