IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people would say that parents should pay their children for small home duties (cleaning, washing dishes). Other would disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There
two
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are two
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 different approaches to the upbringing of
children
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. On one side are those who believe that
children
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 should be paid for doing domestic chores,
while
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 others disagree. In
this
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 essay, I will consider both sides of the argument and
then
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 give my own opinion on the matter. On the one hand, the idea
to give
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of giving
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money
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 to youngsters might look appealing because it would encourage
children
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 to clean and do house duties.
As well as
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this
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, they would earn their own pocket
money
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 and learn an important lesson
of
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about
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 the value of labour.
For instance
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, my younger brother hates to clean up his own room, and at the same time, he always needs some extra
money
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 to spend on cinema, food courts, etc. In
this
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 kind of
cases
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case
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, earning
money
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 for house chores would be an extra stimulation to do it.
However
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, it is possible to make the opposite case.
This
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 is because many parents would argue that paying
children
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 for small tasks
such
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 as washing dishes leads to spoiling the youth.
This
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 way they might start to act as if parents have to give them
money
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 for good behaviour
otherwise
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 they can do whatever they want. Meanwhile, the main task of upbringing is to bring up responsible, diligent, and tidy people. They should not wait for an award for just regular daily tasks
such
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 as cleaning the floor or washing their own things. In conclusion, both sides of the argument have their own merits, on balance,
however
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, I think that parents should give pocket
money
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 to the youngsters but not as a payment for the household chores.

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task response
Ensure that each body paragraph clearly supports the opinion given in the introduction. Make sure to fully address both views and conclude with a strong opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized and cohesive with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Use transition words to improve the coherence between ideas and paragraphs.
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