Schools should teach children some academic subjects which will be beneficial to their future careers. Therefore, other subjects such as music and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There are different debates between students learn academic or
music
and Physical Education. Partners support academic skills, which enhance their competitiveness in future job-seeking. I disapprove
this
opinion,
this
essay discusses why
music
and P.E befit for children too. The advantages of learning
music
can
mold
Change the spelling
mould
show examples
their temperament. It is beneficial to building an optimistic personality,
therefore
, deepen their love about life and art. Having PE class could, to a large extent,enhance pupils’ health. and could help students to relax their bodies and ease their mind, which learns how to cooperate and cultivate a sense of teamwork. Experts suggest students should do physical exercises at least an hour every day. Having PE or
music
class,by occupying spare time constructively, makes students contented, with no time for boredom. Education Bureau advocates all-round development of their morality, intelligence, physique, beauty, and
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
. There is a saying that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. In conclusion,
Although
academic skills will help them to get a better job, spend too much time on study harmful for their mental and health. Introducing
music
and physical class into the school curriculum could,to some extent, assist students in realizing overall development and add spice to their dull routine of everyday life
Submitted by 1339232976 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: