IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #works #art #paintings #statues #cities #places
History is an integral part of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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society, and many countries undertake methods to preserve and spruce up their historical figures and monuments.
While
 some individuals believe that authorities should invest more
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 ancient artworks
such
 as paintings and figures in order to enhance their living standards, others beg to differ. I,
however
, partially agree with
this
 statement as governments should not dismiss other aspects of their country. In
this
 essay, we shall elaborate on
this
 topic
further
.
Firstly
, ancient artworks represent the historical and cultural background of any nation, and
thus
 governments should preserve it.
Secondly
, it portrays the mindset and creativity of the early settlers;
for example
, monuments
such
 as
Flora
Correct article usage
the Flora
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 Fountain in Mumbai, India
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the intricate craftwork, and design during that era, which is seldom practised these days.
Thirdly
, it educates people about their
regions
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region's
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 historical background.
Lastly
, it foments tourism, which eventually increases the economy and employment in those countries.
Overall
, there are numerous benefits achieved by working on ancient artworks.
On the contrary
, their other things which
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should emphasize
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
apart from historical figures.
Furthermore
, higher authorities should handle other sectors
such
 as education;
for instance
, if more people are educated and knowledgable about history, they can comprehend the significance of these artefacts
,
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apply
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 and
hence
 will work efficiently in maintaining them. To summarize, there are two sides to a coin;
therefore
,
although
 the merits of refurbishing artefacts
such
 as paintings and statues are plenty, I believe that countries should give equal importance to other sectors of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Nevertheless
, it is beneficial for a country to have educated and responsible citizens.
Submitted by tasbeauty.nature on

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task response
Good job in presenting your ideas. Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Well-structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that the examples used are relevant to the points being made.

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