Some people think that family is the most powerful influence on a child’s development. However, others say that other influences such as television, friends and celebrities have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The child's development is
b
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a
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ond with several factors that surround them. One of these factors is the family which for some people is the most powerful
influence
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.
However
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, other people argue that television, friends and celebrities have a greater
influence
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. To me, both views have the same
influence
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in
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on
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kids to some extents.  Children spent the majority of their time with their family. During their daily
life
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, parents teach them how to settle specific mindsets.
This
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will allow them to have certain behaviours in
life
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.
For example
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, if parent
teach
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teaches
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kids the habits of saving money and study, they are likely to follow it their whole
life
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, which somehow is an
influencial
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influential
pratice
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practice
.
Furthermore
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, in some cases, parent
force
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forces
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their kids to become someone that they wish. What I mean by
this
Linking Words
is that some kids are told by their families what profession they should study or what field they should undertake.
Laslty
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Lastly
, to some extent kids
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,
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imitate what their parents do. Some studies suggest that if kids grow up witnessing domestic violence, they might
imittate
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imitate
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this behaviours
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this behaviour
these behaviours
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in their later
life
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. Other factors have a significant
influence
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in
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on
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the children's development. Kids spent a great amount of time with their friends. If their friend
have
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has
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some habits like smoking or drinking they might start doing so too. In my opinion, celebrities have the same
influence
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in
c
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a
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hild's development as
p
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a
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arent. Kids do not have the
metal
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mental
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maturity to avoid being influenced by celebrities. If kids are
f
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a
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an of a famous person, they are likely
tot
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to
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follow and do all
this
Linking Words
famous person do.
For example
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, some famous people foster the
beaty
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beauty
Beaty
idea in many kids. It makes them seek for surgeries and procedures in their later
life
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.
This
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is in order
tot
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to
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look
as
Replace the word
like
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their idols.
Submitted by juansetirado on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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