Some people think that family is the most powerful influence on a child’s development. However, others say that other influences such as television, friends and celebrities have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The child's development is
b
Add an article
a
show examples
ond with several factors that surround them. One of these factors is the family which for some people is the most powerful
influence
.
However
, other people argue that television, friends and celebrities have a greater
influence
. To me, both views have the same
influence
in
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
kids to some extents.  Children spent the majority of their time with their family. During their daily
life
, parents teach them how to settle specific mindsets.
This
will allow them to have certain behaviours in
life
.
For example
, if parent
teach
Change the verb form
teaches
show examples
kids the habits of saving money and study, they are likely to follow it their whole
life
, which somehow is an
influencial
Correct your spelling
influential
pratice
Correct your spelling
practice
.
Furthermore
, in some cases, parent
force
Change the verb form
forces
show examples
their kids to become someone that they wish. What I mean by
this
is that some kids are told by their families what profession they should study or what field they should undertake.
Laslty
Correct your spelling
Lastly
, to some extent kids
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
imitate what their parents do. Some studies suggest that if kids grow up witnessing domestic violence, they might
imittate
Correct your spelling
imitate
this behaviours
Change the determiner
this behaviour
these behaviours
show examples
in their later
life
. Other factors have a significant
influence
in
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
the children's development. Kids spent a great amount of time with their friends. If their friend
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
some habits like smoking or drinking they might start doing so too. In my opinion, celebrities have the same
influence
in
c
Add an article
a
show examples
hild's development as
p
Add an article
a
show examples
arent. Kids do not have the
metal
Correct your spelling
mental
show examples
maturity to avoid being influenced by celebrities. If kids are
f
Add an article
a
show examples
an of a famous person, they are likely
tot
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
follow and do all
this
famous person do.
For example
, some famous people foster the
beaty
Correct your spelling
beauty
Beaty
idea in many kids. It makes them seek for surgeries and procedures in their later
life
.
This
is in order
tot
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
look
as
Replace the word
like
show examples
their idols.
Submitted by juansetirado on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: