IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #pace #stress #life #effect #families
Rapid urbanization and stressful conditions of an advanced lifestyle have adversely affected people's lives.
Although
 many might disagree with
this
 statement,I completely agree with
this
 notion, not only because of materialistic approach of people and the growing psychiatric issues related to
this
 but
also
 lack of social interaction among families.
This
 essay will explore how these factors justify my opinion
Firstly
, the factor that compelled me to agree with
this
 statement is the increasing trend of people towards the materialistic things irrespective of their income.People do not realize their income and try to catch the fast pace of the world. Take an example of Sweden, where the incidence of social crimes is increasing
as a result
 of the growing needs of the people.
Thus
, materialism plays an important role in causing family disturbances.
Secondly
,to cope up with the fast speed of the world, people tend to do an enormous effort which ultimately leads to various diseases, especially psychiatric problems.Mental disorders are inevitable
as a result
 of stress and anxiety provoked by the fast-tracked lifestyle.
For instance
,a recent survey done at the University of Birmingham cited a 25 per cent increase in mental disorders after the invention of latest technologies during
l
Add an article
the
show examples
ast decade.
Hence
, the modern lifestyle can provoke a lot of health issues.
Finally
,another negative influence of modem life is the lack of social interaction among families.People are involved in using latest gadgets rather than spending time with families. To sum up, I believe that I completely agree with
this
 notion. Not because of enhanced materialism and growing mental problems, but
also
 because of social disconnection.
Submitted by aadidoc508 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: