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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people play video games as a main way to entertain. Do the advantages of playing video games outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #video #games
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These days,
video
 games are considered a major recreational activity for many people. From my perspective, the drawbacks that accompany
this
 trend are more significant than the benefits. On the one hand, playing
video
 games has some certain merits.
Firstly
,
video
 games could be an effective method to help players relieve stress. It is because when playing games, people can be able to enter a new world and escape the reality of their daily activities, which means that people can temporarily forget about their problems.
Secondly
, playing games allows players to horn some essential skills.
For example
, mission-based and multilevel – based games can stimulate people to think strategically to overcome challenging levels, which might lead to
the
Change the article
an
show examples
 improvement in
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 skills.
On the other hand
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 some downsides
of
Verify preposition usage
to
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 playing
video
 games. The most obvious disadvantage is that it could be detrimental to people’s health. As games are addictive, people tend to play games excessively.
This
 leads to a lack of physical activities, which in turn lead to
h
Add an article
a
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igher risk of health problems
such
 as eyes-related diseases or backbone problems.
In addition
, playing games can worsen a student’s academic performance. Once students are addicted to
video
 games, they seem to procrastinate on their studying or just ignore the deadline to play their
favorite
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favourite
show examples
 games.
Furthermore
, people communication skills might be rusty when people spend an excessive amount of time playing games. It is because people with internet-connected games can easily chat with others without ever leaving home, which means these people might be confused when they have to deal with actual face-to-face interactions. In conclusion, while playing games can bring about considerable benefits, I am convinced that its drawbacks are more significant.
Submitted by Andy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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