IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Music
Use synonyms
 has been known as a key distinguisher between different cultures as well as ages.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, several people suggest that it should be a crucial way of bringing persons together without looking at either their characteristics or traditions. I absolutely agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion as songs have a huge influence on making a bridge and the connection between generations. It is clear that nowadays there are not people, who have never appreciated any kinds of songs. Everyone has a particular taste of melody in spite of genres or artists. Even though these people may not understand another culture they can still understand the messages of the
music
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, it would be songs of the group BTS. Despite the language of their compositions, they had rallied a lot of fans over the world. Persons, who might not have any firsthand experience with another language, can still identify with BTS and relish their
music
Use synonyms
. So, due to
this
Linking Words
 fact,
music
Use synonyms
 brings together people of disparate cultures through an emotional and intellectual bonding on common issues.
However
Linking Words
, one of the most significant drawbacks is going to be misunderstanding the tastes of
music
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the differences between the generations are reflected and augmented rather than mediated due to the different personalities and styles of modern melody. From what has been discussed above here should be drawn a conclusion that if songs are actual for all generations, there will be definitely a positive effect of the bringing people together.
Therefore
Linking Words
, songs have a great ability to accomplish it.
Submitted by M on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: