To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support this claim.

#happiness #relationships #people #friends #colleagues #wealth #occupations #second #place #support

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The growing pressures of the

Use synonyms

money driven

Add a hyphen

money-driven

show examples

world we live in widely

causethe

Correct your spelling

cause the

gravitation towards material items.

However

Linking Words

, personal

happiness

Use synonyms

notachieved

Correct your spelling

not achieved

through things like work, wealth, and success. Though

thesethings

Correct your spelling

these things

may be attractive and coveted, it does not refute the fact

thatrelationships

Correct your spelling

that relationships

with

friends

Use synonyms

, colleagues, and family members are the

genuinesecrets

Correct your spelling

genuine secrets

to living happily.

This

Linking Words

will be proven by bringing up the topic of wealthy superstars who steadily live lonely lives and the advice from

elderlypeople

Correct your spelling

elderly people

based on experience.

Firstly

Linking Words

, name and

fame

Use synonyms

are conveyed

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to resolve all

life

Use synonyms

problems.

This

Linking Words

is the reason that human's

froms

Correct your spelling

from

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

7-10 commence to imagine being rich and thereby, struggle by all means to

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

success.

For instance

Linking Words

, 50

years

Use synonyms

old famous star Jennifer

Lolez

Correct your spelling

Lopez

lives in a beautiful mansion

Change preposition

show examples

the Los Angeles mountains on her own and recent interview she disclosed how she misses her

parents

Use synonyms

and siblings

sicne

Correct your spelling

since

she left them 30

years

Use synonyms

ago to earn

money

Use synonyms

. Sadly, once we lose

Remove the article

apply

show examples

contact

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

loved

ones

Use synonyms

, it is difficult to retrace the same

love

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

and

fame

Use synonyms

does

Change the verb form

show examples

not provide

Use synonyms

happiness

Correct article usage

the happiness

show examples

care

Use synonyms

and affection that

humans

Use synonyms

seek the most.

Secondly

Linking Words

, human

life

Use synonyms

is meant to have

both

Use synonyms

ups and downs. During our low times, family is the utmost strength

one

Use synonyms

can back

up on

Correct your spelling

upon

show examples

, while

money

Use synonyms

merely stays in the bank account.

For example

Linking Words

, as elders say,

one

Use synonyms

should master the art of balancing between

life

Use synonyms

goals and family so that

both

Use synonyms

are fulfilled prior

for

Change preposition

show examples

mind and later

one

Use synonyms

for soul food.

This

Linking Words

clearly indicates

hence

Linking Words

, that

humans

Use synonyms

can

care

Use synonyms

for

one

Use synonyms

another,

money

Use synonyms

can not buy

family's

Correct article usage

a family's

show examples

love

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is why youngsters should

care

Use synonyms

for their

parents

Use synonyms

friends

Use synonyms

and loved

ones

Use synonyms

while they can.

Firstly

Linking Words

, name and

fame

Use synonyms

are conveyed

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to resolve all

life

Use synonyms

problems.

This

Linking Words

is the reason that human's

froms

Correct your spelling

from

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

7-10 commence to imagine being rich and thereby, struggle by all means to

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

success.

For instance

Linking Words

, 50

years

Use synonyms

old famous star Jennifer

Lolez

Correct your spelling

Lopez

lives in a beautiful mansion

Change preposition

show examples

the Los Angeles mountains on her own and recent interview she disclosed how she misses her

parents

Use synonyms

and siblings

sicne

Correct your spelling

since

she left them 30

years

Use synonyms

ago to earn

money

Use synonyms

. Sadly, once we lose

Remove the article

apply

show examples

contact

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

loved

ones

Use synonyms

, it is difficult to retrace the same

love

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

and

fame

Use synonyms

does

Change the verb form

show examples

not provide

Use synonyms

happiness

Correct article usage

the happiness

show examples

care

Use synonyms

and affection that

humans

Use synonyms

seek the most.

Secondly

Linking Words

, human

life

Use synonyms

is meant to have

both

Use synonyms

ups and downs. During our low times, family is the utmost strength

one

Use synonyms

can back

up on

Correct your spelling

upon

show examples

, while

money

Use synonyms

merely stays in the bank account.

For example

Linking Words

, as elders say,

one

Use synonyms

should master the art of balancing between

life

Use synonyms

goals and family so that

both

Use synonyms

are fulfilled prior

for

Change preposition

show examples

mind and later

one

Use synonyms

for soul food.

This

Linking Words

clearly indicates

hence

Linking Words

, that

humans

Use synonyms

can

care

Use synonyms

for

one

Use synonyms

another,

money

Use synonyms

can not buy

family's

Correct article usage

a family's

show examples

love

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is why youngsters should

care

Use synonyms

for their

parents

Use synonyms

friends

Use synonyms

and loved

ones

Use synonyms

while they can.As explained above, genuine

happiness

Use synonyms

can never be bought

bywealth

Correct your spelling

by wealth

by wealthy

and everyone gets to realise

this

Linking Words

when they become old.

Itis

Correct your spelling

It is

show examples

true that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

relationships with

friends

Use synonyms

, colleagues, and

familymembers

Correct your spelling

family members

create

happiness

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, the greater the

love

Use synonyms

yougive

Correct your spelling

you give

, the greater you receive.

Submitted by kaurnavp09 on Wed Sep 16 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
13
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

535 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
The best way to improve health is to exercise daily. To what extend do you agree?
Fitness and well being are directly related to each other. Many people believe that exercising is the main way to be healthy, while many others argue that sleeping properly and a balanced diet are required. Then, I staunchly believe that not only practicing physical activities but also quality of intaken are vital.
5.5
band
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the near future, self-driving trend is likely to become popular in the transportation industry. Even now, companies have already been working on developing automatic techniques to assist drivers. It is agreed that the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages. This opinion will be elaborated by discussing how technology can exceed human in driving performances, and the topic of time efficiency.
4.5
band
When ask to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
People are said to always have a tendency of not choosing to work. The author strongly with this statement due to passion as well as stress-relieving activity.
5
band
Some people prefer full-time jobs because they offer stability. Other people prefer casual jobs because of the freedom they offer discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Full-time jobs are often proposed as a way to achieve stability. While some believe that this approach would be effective, others tend to do part-time professions, claiming that these types of jobs preserve time and offer them freedom. In my opinion, although full-time jobs contribute in stability and ensure successful future, having some time for ourselves and space for our private life is crucial, which can be achieved by casual jobs.
<4
band
The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now,and how it will look after development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Both maps which are given illustrate the present structure of the university's sports centre and the future outlook after new constructions according to the plan.

To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support this claim.

The Greeting

The best way to improve health is to exercise daily. To what extend do you agree?

When ask to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people prefer full-time jobs because they offer stability. Other people prefer casual jobs because of the freedom they offer discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now,and how it will look after development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.