To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support this claim.

#happiness #relationships #people #friends #colleagues #wealth #occupations #second #place #support

The growing pressures of the

money driven

Add a hyphen

money-driven

show examples

world we live in widely

causethe

Correct your spelling

cause the

gravitation towards material items.

However

, personal

happiness

notachieved

Correct your spelling

not achieved

through things like work, wealth, and success. Though

thesethings

Correct your spelling

these things

may be attractive and coveted, it does not refute the fact

thatrelationships

Correct your spelling

that relationships

with

friends

, colleagues, and family members are the

genuinesecrets

Correct your spelling

genuine secrets

to living happily.

This

will be proven by bringing up the topic of wealthy superstars who steadily live lonely lives and the advice from

elderlypeople

Correct your spelling

elderly people

based on experience.

Firstly

, name and

fame

are conveyed

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to resolve all

life

problems.

This

is the reason that human's

froms

Correct your spelling

from

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

7-10 commence to imagine being rich and thereby, struggle by all means to

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

success.

For instance

, 50

years

old famous star Jennifer

Lolez

Correct your spelling

Lopez

lives in a beautiful mansion

Change preposition

show examples

the Los Angeles mountains on her own and recent interview she disclosed how she misses her

parents

and siblings

sicne

Correct your spelling

since

she left them 30

years

ago to earn

money

. Sadly, once we lose

Remove the article

apply

show examples

contact

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

loved

ones

, it is difficult to retrace the same

love

Therefore

money

and

fame

does

Change the verb form

show examples

not provide

happiness

Correct article usage

the happiness

show examples

care

and affection that

humans

seek the most.

Secondly

, human

life

is meant to have

both

ups and downs. During our low times, family is the utmost strength

one

can back

up on

Correct your spelling

upon

show examples

, while

money

merely stays in the bank account.

For example

, as elders say,

one

should master the art of balancing between

life

goals and family so that

both

are fulfilled prior

for

Change preposition

show examples

mind and later

one

for soul food.

This

clearly indicates

hence

, that

humans

can

care

for

one

another,

money

can not buy

family's

Correct article usage

a family's

show examples

love

This

is why youngsters should

care

for their

parents

friends

and loved

ones

while they can.

Firstly

, name and

fame

are conveyed

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to resolve all

life

problems.

This

is the reason that human's

froms

Correct your spelling

from

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

7-10 commence to imagine being rich and thereby, struggle by all means to

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

success.

For instance

, 50

years

old famous star Jennifer

Lolez

Correct your spelling

Lopez

lives in a beautiful mansion

Change preposition

show examples

the Los Angeles mountains on her own and recent interview she disclosed how she misses her

parents

and siblings

sicne

Correct your spelling

since

she left them 30

years

ago to earn

money

. Sadly, once we lose

Remove the article

apply

show examples

contact

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

loved

ones

, it is difficult to retrace the same

love

Therefore

money

and

fame

does

Change the verb form

show examples

not provide

happiness

Correct article usage

the happiness

show examples

care

and affection that

humans

seek the most.

Secondly

, human

life

is meant to have

both

ups and downs. During our low times, family is the utmost strength

one

can back

up on

Correct your spelling

upon

show examples

, while

money

merely stays in the bank account.

For example

, as elders say,

one

should master the art of balancing between

life

goals and family so that

both

are fulfilled prior

for

Change preposition

show examples

mind and later

one

for soul food.

This

clearly indicates

hence

, that

humans

can

care

for

one

another,

money

can not buy

family's

Correct article usage

a family's

show examples

love

This

is why youngsters should

care

for their

parents

friends

and loved

ones

while they can.As explained above, genuine

happiness

can never be bought

bywealth

Correct your spelling

by wealth

by wealthy

and everyone gets to realise

this

when they become old.

Itis

Correct your spelling

It is

show examples

true that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

relationships with

friends

, colleagues, and

familymembers

Correct your spelling

family members

create

happiness

Therefore

, the greater the

love

yougive

Correct your spelling

you give

, the greater you receive.

Submitted by kaurnavp09 on Wed Sep 16 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

535 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support this claim.

The Greeting

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Teenage pregnancy is on the rise in many countries. Why is this? What measures are there to tackle this problem?

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need to print books, magazines and newspapers on paper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?