IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In today's world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#world #companies #government #conduct #research
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In recent years, scientific
research
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 has been sponsored for and done by private firms more than governmental organizations. In my opinion, in spite of some undeniable benefits,
this
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 trend has had more adverse effects on the outcome of
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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research
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. From my perspective, the lack of solid
co-operation
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cooperation
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 between non-governmental and governmental parties
have
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has
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 led to
a
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apply
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conflict and inconsistency in utilizing the resources. It is true that with the involvement of private companies, there will be less burden in terms of finance and human resources on the governmental
research
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 departments.
However
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, without the management of the government, one
research
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 topic can be conducted by many private stakeholders at the same time.
This
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 means despite being rich, these mentioned resources are not increasing productivity of the scientific
research
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,
in contrast
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, being wasted. Another reason why I believe depending on private companies for
research
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 payment and conduction is not an optimal option is that the scale of
these
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this
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research
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 can be limited. A company can have a wide network with local or global partners in order to help in different stages of
researching
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research
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.
However
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, the headers of a country have more trust from their citizens and
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a numbers
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numbers
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number
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 of international relationships; which helps them have more advantages when implementing
research
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.
For example
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, a
researching
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research
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 process may include many attendants with their consent, in
this
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 case, people would find indications from the government are more
trust-worthy
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trustworthy
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 than from a private firm; which
lead
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leads
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 to a higher chance of agreement and participation. All in all, organizations from
a
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the
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 private sector may face obstacles during conducting the
research
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.
To conclude
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, because of the inefficiency caused by the investment in
researching
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research
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 from the private sector, I concur that the negative impacts outweigh the benefits.
Submitted by Andy on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt but could provide a more balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is generally good, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some paragraphs could be better connected.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • private sector
  • government funding
  • technological innovation
  • competitive nature
  • profitable outcomes
  • conflict of interest
  • corporate bias
  • economic stimulation
  • public interest
  • non-profitable
  • public welfare
  • commercial applications
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