Some businesses now say that no-one can smoke cigarettes in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree with this?

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People are not allowed to
smoking
Wrong verb form
smoke
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in their
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
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or public
area
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areas
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. It
regards
Wrong verb form
is regarded
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as a disgusting and dangerous habit and
bans
Verb problem
apply
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smoking in workplaces and public spaces. I agree with
this
Linking Words
development, which is a significant step in the right direction. Restricting cigarette use is not only beneficial to the health of smokers but
also
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non-smokers
Change preposition
to non-smokers
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as well. There is abundant scientific evidence smoker who suffers from heart diseases, emphysema,
chronic
Correct word choice
and chronic
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bronchitis. Half of the teenagers currently die from the disease caused by smoking, 25%of them before they are 70%. It is the responsibility of the state to protect citizens from themselves, which is why bare-knuckle boxing and heroin are banned.
This
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approach brings numerous economic benefits to companies and the national economy. Employees working in smoke-free environments take fewer days off sick. It
as
Correct your spelling
is
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the result of improving a firm’s productivity and profitability.
Likewise
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, hospitals do not have to treat as many patients with life-threatening conditions. It might allow the authorities to spend less on healthcare and invest more in social care or vital infrastructure projects, which improve the quality of life for all.
Finally
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, a country with a cleaner environment is likely to attract a larger number of foreign tourists, leading to job creation in the service sector and an improved standard of living for many. In conclusion, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that businesses and political leaders are right to prohibit smoking outside the home.
This
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measure is enormously positive for every single citizen and worker. I wish that every nation and employer on Earth would adopt
this
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approach.

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Task Achievement
Further develop your introduction by clearly stating your position and outlining your main points. This sets the stage for the reader and clarifies your stance from the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that sentences are grammatically correct and check for minor errors in phrasing and word choice, such as 'It regards as' should be 'It is regarded as'. Such improvements can enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or statistics to support your claims, particularly in discussing the health impacts and economic benefits. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
Task Achievement
You present a clear argument in favor of banning smoking in public spaces and workplaces, showing your understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your points and restates your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • second-hand smoke
  • respiratory diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • productivity
  • fire hazards
  • environmental advantages
  • aesthetics
  • non-smokers
  • personal freedom
  • well-being
  • smoking bans
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