IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

students perform better in school when they are rewarded than punished. to what extend do you agree or disagree ?

#students #school
while some people believe that suffering if helpful,in my opinion,the most of part prefer the way that rewards student, in that essay I'm going to show both of sides but I know
that is
 a polemic topic and controversial.
First
 of all, looking for the rest of the world, people like to hear motivation words and good things about they, in
this
 point students,are not different, they can study better without pression
also
 just thinking about reward,
second
, we are in 2020, torture is the past and it did not work very well, nowadays we are more intelligent than years ago, so, definitely, we are in development and can regress for
this
 old mind
on the other hand
, people that defend the punishment point of view, they believe that without it, children will not focus on in his activities,
for example
,homework,
also
 they will just have fun and do not activies.
finally
, to be honest, punish children will work just for the moment, thinking about a long period of time,
this
 is just interrupting they development, definitely,it is not helpful and I would rather reward than torture.
Submitted by willian.gomesdasilva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: