Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

#men #women #money #beauty #care #was #root #behavior #results

In recent decades, the lifestyle of men and women has changed considerably, compared to their counterparts in the past. Many people are of the opinion that both genders spend a large amount of money on cosmetic products. In the following paragraphs, the causes and effects of

this

issue will be discussed in detail.

To begin

with, the opinion of looking good is held by many people these days, because they are obsessed and concerned with their appearances, or even would like to emulate other's characteristics by using the same brand name cosmetic products as their idols.

Moreover

, there is an increasing trend of taking care of both mental and physical health among males and females, including exercises, having a balanced diet, and of course, using organic

beauty

products. Many people decide to buy organic ones in order to alleviate their wrinkles and stay younger than their actual age. The results of

this

habit can be either good

and

Correct word choice

show examples

bad depending on how much they spend. If individuals spend all of

the

Change the word

their

show examples

salaries on

beauty

items, they would not have the ability to afford other life expenses,

such

as accommodation,

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

or drinks, to name but a few. In the

worse

Correct word choice

worst

show examples

case, they might mortgage a house to borrow money to pay for their

beauty

items.

On the other hand

, those who spend only a small amount of salary, will not have to deal with a financial problem. In conclusion, there is a substantial rise in the number of both men and women who decide to spend a lot of money on cosmetic things

due to

worried

Fix the agreement mistake

worries

show examples

about their appearances and

also

taking care of their facial health.

Nevertheless

, it might cause negative effects to someone who is a

beauty

care shopaholic. All

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

considered, no one can deny that buying

such

things is inappropriate because

our

Change the word

the

show examples

world we live in today has changed, in comparison with the world our parents lived in the past.

Submitted by natnicha.ketc on Thu Sep 24 2020

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task response

Ensure to address both causes and effects in a balanced and detailed manner.

coherence cohesion

Work on linking sentences and ideas more effectively to improve coherence and cohesion.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. if these are not taught many are at risk of dying out. in your opinion is it important for everyone to study English? should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and if so how?

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