Caring for the children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
It is indeed a fact that
children
are a significant segment of the whole society. Therefore
, raising children
with attentive care is highly important. So, some people recommend that childcare
diploma or training ought to be done by all the Correct article usage
a childcare
parents
Personally, I agree at
Change preposition
to
the
large extent with the above suggestion.
The major reason for having classes by the Correct article usage
a
parents
for warm caring of their children
is the
hectic and busy schedule Change the word
their
of
Change preposition
apply
them
. In simple words. Correct pronoun usage
apply
due to
globalization, the expenses have been increasing considerably.There to meet the money requirement of the house ,parents
have to spend significant time at their workplaces. Hence
, to give attentive nourishment in the strict schedule, training of
Change preposition
in
childcare
plays a huge role by giving special tactics that are approved by the experts.These methods would certainly help the mothers and fathers to take care of children
even in bustling days.
Another reason,why
it is suitable to attend the classes of Add a missing verb
is why
childcare
by the parents
?
Massive Change the punctuation
.
reson
is a high rate of illiteracy of mothers and fathers, especially in underdeveloped Correct your spelling
reason
counties
. Correct your spelling
countries
Thus
,it is very difficult for them to raise their children
, understand
their feelings and creativity. To overcome these problems Correct word choice
and understand
childcare
centres tech
the Correct your spelling
teach
parents
some easy ways to evaluate the feeling
of the Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
children
. For example
, there are many successful persons, whose interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
had
been identified by their educated or well-trained Wrong verb form
have
parents
. so, I think it would be a great option to improve the future of society by well nourishing of
the Change preposition
apply
children
.
There is only one reason to
not to take training for Change preposition
apply
childcare
is high fees. In other words
, there are many individuals who can not afford the training due to
lack
of requirements namely labourers, grab Correct article usage
a lack
picker
and Fix the agreement mistake
pickers
low incentive
Add a hyphen
low-incentive
employees
. Add the comma(s)
, employees
Due to
the high expense of enrolment of training some people unable to manage.
To sum up
, despite the high fees, the parents
who take special courses for
the nourishment of the children
is applaudable.Submitted by singhajit.as8 on
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coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph seamlessly transitions to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Refine your introduction and conclusion to make them more compelling. Your introduction should clearly state your position, and your conclusion should effectively summarize your key points.
task achievement
Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your main points. This will help to clarify your arguments and make them more convincing.
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Try to develop your ideas more comprehensively. At times, your arguments are a bit underdeveloped and would benefit from further elaboration.
general
Proofread your work to correct minor grammatical errors and improve sentence clarity. This will make your writing more polished and professional.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the importance of childcare training for parents.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
general
Your writing shows a range of vocabulary and expressions, which enhances the readability of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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