Caring for the children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is indeed a fact that
children
are a significant segment of the whole society.
Therefore
, raising
children
with attentive care is highly important. So, some people recommend that
childcare
Correct article usage
a childcare
show examples
diploma or training ought to be done by all the
parents
Personally, I agree
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
large extent with the above suggestion. The major reason for having classes by the
parents
for warm caring of their
children
is
the
Change the word
their
show examples
hectic and busy schedule
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In simple words.
due to
globalization, the expenses have been increasing considerably.There to meet the money requirement of the house ,
parents
have to spend significant time at their workplaces.
Hence
, to give attentive nourishment in the strict schedule, training
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
childcare
plays a huge role by giving special tactics that are approved by the experts.These methods would certainly help the mothers and fathers to take care of
children
even in bustling days. Another reason,
why
Add a missing verb
is why
show examples
it is suitable to attend the classes of
childcare
by the
parents
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
Massive
reson
Correct your spelling
reason
is a high rate of illiteracy of mothers and fathers, especially in underdeveloped
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
.
Thus
,it is very difficult for them to raise their
children
,
understand
Correct word choice
and understand
show examples
their feelings and creativity. To overcome these problems
childcare
centres
tech
Correct your spelling
teach
show examples
the
parents
some easy ways to evaluate the
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
of the
children
.
For example
, there are many successful persons, whose
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
been identified by their educated or well-trained
parents
. so, I think it would be a great option to improve the future of society by well nourishing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
children
. There is only one reason
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not to take training for
childcare
is high fees.
In other words
, there are many individuals who can not afford the training
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of requirements namely labourers, grab
picker
Fix the agreement mistake
pickers
show examples
and
low incentive
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low-incentive
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employees
Add the comma(s)
, employees
show examples
.
Due to
the high expense of enrolment of training some people unable to manage.
To sum up
, despite the high fees, the
parents
who take special courses for the nourishment of the
children
is applaudable.
Submitted by singhajit.as8 on

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coherence and cohesion
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Refine your introduction and conclusion to make them more compelling. Your introduction should clearly state your position, and your conclusion should effectively summarize your key points.
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Proofread your work to correct minor grammatical errors and improve sentence clarity. This will make your writing more polished and professional.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the importance of childcare training for parents.
task achievement
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general
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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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