In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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As cities expand their territories, rural areas shrink because of new homes and buildings. It is believed that these lands should be protected since they are important for economic and societal aspects,
such
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as livestock, agriculture, and forests for animals. I am convinced that metropolises should not merge with the countryside because of the previously mentioned reasons;
however
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, it would be better if towns built new houses in uninhabited steeps
instead
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of forests or livestock lands.  First and foremost, farmers play a crucial role in the economic development of a state
,
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and taking areas away from them will harmfully affect government revenue.
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, ordinary citizens will suffer
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the lack of supply of agricultural goods,
for example
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, vegetables and fruits.
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, as villages are usually the main source of meat, establishing more homes there will disrupt critical supply chains to the town, so residents will lack animal products.
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, major cities are better off leaving space for agriculturalists. 
Secondly
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, establishing more buildings outside a city entails cutting down trees, which are habitats for a huge variety of animals.
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, the practice of expanding lands by using forest areas should not be incorporated since it ruins the biodiversity of a local region.
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, trees store carbon dioxide and produce oxygen, so cutting them down will lead to a negative impact on human health because more people will inhale contaminated and polluted air.
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, metropolises could have enlarged in uninhabited steeps since it does not harm anybody.
This
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is a widespread practice in Astana, where the megapolis widens by occupying more steep acreage.  In conclusion, megacities should not enlarge by using other regions' territories because it will harmfully influence the export of meat and agricultural commodities from rustic regions.
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, enormous megacities are better off omitting cutting down the woodlands since it ruins local biodiversity and contributes to air pollution.
Nevertheless
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, uninhabited steeps are the best places for building new houses.

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task response
Consider including a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to explicitly state your opinion and the main points you will discuss. This can help guide the reader more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly links back to the main topic or opinion. While your points are relevant, ensuring that sentences within paragraphs relate directly to the topic sentence can improve cohesion.
task response
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, addressing the need to protect the countryside from urban expansion with thoughtful justification.
task response
Well-developed main points with relevant examples, such as the reference to Astana's urban planning, provide a strong foundation for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is well-maintained. Ideas evolve in a coherent sequence from introduction to conclusion, allowing the reader to follow your argument easily.
coherence cohesion
Transition words and phrases are effectively used to guide the reader through the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the author's stance, reinforcing the argument persuasively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Ecological benefits
  • Biodiversity conservation
  • Carbon sequestration
  • Sustainable development
  • Eco-friendly building materials
  • Green architecture
  • Government policies
  • Urban sprawl
  • Infrastructure
  • Smart planning
  • Agricultural lands
  • Rural areas
  • Population growth
  • Environmental sensitivity
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