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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support this claim.

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The growing pressures of the money-driven world we live in widely cause the gravitation towards material items.
However
Linking Words
, personal happiness is not achieved through things like work, wealth, and success. Though these things may be attractive and coveted, it does not refute the fact that relationships with
friends
Use synonyms
, colleagues, and family members are the genuine secrets to living happily.
This
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 will be proven by bringing up the topic of wealthy superstars who steadily live lonely lives and advice from elderly
people
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 based on experience.
Firstly
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, no matter how much money you earn, it does not validate the happiness in your
life
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.
For instance
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, many superstars have enormous wealth at their disposal; yet, they have depression due to their loneliness. They might have a wonderful career
however
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, they lacked true
friends
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 to support them during difficult moments.
This
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 resonates with the fact that monetary gains cannot be an alternative for
friends
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 and families.
Secondly
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, as you grow old, the charm of living a luxurious
life
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 diminishes. There are multiple examples of rich and wealthy
people
Use synonyms
 who left their extravagant
life
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 in search of happiness. When Steve Jobs quitted Apple and he was in a distress, he went to a monastery in India to find the true value of
life
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. These examples reflect the fact that money does not bring peace and harmony
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your
life
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.
People
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 are happier when they practice having a healthy mind and soul, rather than materialistic belongings that are short-lived. To conclude, personal fortune is not sufficient to guarantee joy and peace in human beings. It is vital to be surrounded by good
friends
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 and family, to enjoy
life
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.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 need to develop ways to find tranquillity in
life
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 by devoting themselves
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 soul searching activities
such
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 as meditation.

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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