IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #development #values #phenomenon
In recent times,
although
 living conditions are developing owing to economic growth in many countries, as a consequence, some kind of ethical values are slipped away in society. In my opinion, the benefits of
this
 event absolutely outweigh the drawbacks. The progress in
e
Add an article
the
show examples
conomy has been the most effective key for improving living standards almost all over the world. If any country has
p
Add an article
a
show examples
owerful and stabilized
economy
, the society experiences
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
 life, which is the reason to be
d
Add an article
a
show examples
elight and comfortable. The people who have a high quality of life are
also
 influencing the strength of the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 market, which is playing the major role in economic growth and development of the society as well as the state.
For example
, the statistical reports of the researchers
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that people lived in high conditions is more willing to carry out their duties and
also
 influences around them,
as a result
, the quality of work and as well as
economy
 escalates. As opposed the economic improvement causes to disappear of main social principles
such
 as trust, justice and honesty and etc. The reason is that the government control over the companies, which are the main tools for progress in
e
Add an article
the
show examples
conomy decreases due to
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
 economic fields,
thus
 in
this
 situation
Add a comma
,
show examples
some companies begin to use illegal activities to increase the income.
However
, it is regulable because of the states could prepare suitable legislation and practice to control industry and companies. The protection of social values is
also
 vital for economic prosperity which will be achieved in
r
Add an article
the
show examples
ight way and social welfare.
Submitted by zalovagunel1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • economic development
  • social values
  • materialism
  • community welfare
  • sustainable technologies
  • environmental degradation
  • social stratification
  • social cohesion
  • economic status
What to do next:
Look at other essays: