IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Write about the following topic: Nowadays, many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

#topic #people #difficulties #lack
In the present world, the number of individuals suffering from sleep issues is constantly on the rise. While increasingly amount of screentime at work and home is to blame, there are ways around to sleeping better. Lifestyle sets priorities and eventually influences how much sleep we get. While hours of sleep play a major role in how well we rest, healthier habits and choosing to focus on better stress management strategies lead to significantly better sleep.
Firstly
, healthy habits deeply influence our metabolism, mood and anxiety levels enhancing our physical and mental condition. Notably, exercising is widely known for having several positive impacts in our condition as we develop endurance endorphins are released in our brain making us feel well, as well as the cardiorespiratory function which allows for better oxygen flow in the brain while awake and asleep. As matter of fact, our brain functions at a higher level during the day increasing creativity and is able to shut off during sleep.
Therefore
, getting physical exercise is a great way to enhance sleep quality.
Secondly
, stress controls how much energy is spent on goals and objectives.
For instance
,
g
Add an article
the
a
show examples
reat majority of the population spend
g
Add an article
a
show examples
reat part of the day at work in order to meet financial obligations, which mostly does not allow for family, exercising and sleep leading to an unhealthy heart. Fortunately, change is possible by shifting priorities and choosing to live healthier.
As a result
, there are several paths to securing a happy existence and sleeping well. To summarize, most individuals suffer from sleep disorders due to unhealthy lifestyles in order to reach a certain status. While financial and social status is important to living comfortably, one must arrange to live healthily. Upon deep analysis of
this
 subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of working long hours over an equilibrated lifestyle will always be greater than the positive effects,
therefore
, people must always exercise.
Submitted by giovannelucas.pinto on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: