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Writing Samples
Band 5

Young people are often influenced by their peers. Do the advantages of peer pressure outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #peers #peer #pressure
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It is inevitable that while children grow up, they are impressed by their social environment.
In particular
 in developmental ages, children spend more time with their peers than their families. In my opinion, despite the fact that some drawbacks can occur, interactions with peers
influences
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influence
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the
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apply
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young people more positively.
First
 of all, until children started
to
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apply
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school, they had learnt everything from their families.
Then
, others have come into their lives that children have faced much more with them than their families just another day. We call them peers. At the same time, these people
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affect
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effect
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affect
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 the others, who are at the same age, and shape their personalities mutually.
For example
, playing football with friends leads to a child makes a habit of
this
 sport and learns teamwork, that many job applications require these skills. For
this
 reason, when we are young, we gain our interests and social skills mostly by influences of our friends that it affects our older ages in a positive way.
On the other hand
, children can develop bad behaviours due to the fact that their peers distract them. When the process at which a child adapt to
the
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school life, they are often exposed to their peers’ thoughts rather than the speeches are told by their elders.
For instance
, since children make their lunch together in school, their eating habits can resemble.
Thus
, a child may not eat vegetables,
although
 they are told by parents that they are healthy nutritions.
However
,
such
 interactions are temporary, that a person will leave
such
 habits when he becomes conscious. In conclusion, even though there are some influences of the peers are considered as bad by parents, the peers’ positive effects on a child’s personality outweigh them in the long run.
Submitted by ezgitanyeli on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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