IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The quality of health care a person receives should not depend on the size of their bank balance. The government is responsible for providing a high level of health care for all its citizens. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#quality #health #care #person #size #bank #balance #government #level #citizens
It is undeniable that
health
 services are a basic need of every individual starting from birth until the end of life. It is,
therefore
, some people contend that the
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 care should not according to one's debt, though, it is a responsibility of the state to provide the best services to all the residents. I believe that it is an absolute imperative to arrange the facilities for the people free of cost despite some potential treatments which still required money from the patient's pocket.
To begin
 with, it is quite understandable why people think that the territory should provide them free of cost fitness services because they are contributing some amount of their income as a tariff so whenever the medical treatment is required, it should be without any fees.
Likewise
, the medication should be of high standard taking the condition of the patient in consideration.
For example
, in India, the medical facilities are totally paid and in that case, almost 50% of the total population is below the poverty line which enables them to cure their diseases and some lost their lives as well. Overall, if the government offer the hospital expenses to the people,
then
 definitely the situation will be no longer miserable.
Conversely
, sometimes in order to treat the particular disease people have to pay some amount by their own because
health
 services are fixed up to a certain level and beyond that limit, the people must pay for it.
Also
, the anticipation of the state for
health
 diagnosis may develop the detrimental habits among the people as they could be careless about their body and drags towards the sedentary lifestyle. The dental treatment is not covered by the government and it is a tangible example of using one's own saving if they want a dental checkup.
Thus
, it is completely preposterous for the people if they are demanding each and every treatment from the country. To conclude, relying on the country for
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
 services is entirely necessary but residents could not get all the facilities because sometimes they have to pay their own. According to my opinion, the government should allocate the best
health
 care to the dwellers but these services should be fixed at a particular level.
Submitted by sumandeepkaur450 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: