The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Public
health
is one of the most discussed topics and often a solid indicator as to a country's overall well-being. Some people believe that an individual's overall
health
will be superior
than
Change the preposition
to
show examples
that of its current state, whereas others argue our
health
will see a downward trend as
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
time goes by. In
this
essay, I will examine both sides of the issue in detail, before stating why I believe a brighter future for people's
health
will arise.
To begin
with, there is not a day that goes by without hearing about a progressive treatment of a so-called deadly disease. The conditions once
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
humanity saw as incurable has become curable in a matter of weeks, in some cases even days. To illustrate
this
,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
children with asthma would have been dead 60 years ago in the event of a severe respiratory condition.
However
,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
modern medicine managed to resize the
chuncky
Correct your spelling
chunky
breathing tubes into modular and portable devices, allowing patients to carry them everywhere they move safely.
Secondly
, there have been continuous innovations in
crossdisciplinary
Correct your spelling
cross-disciplinary
show examples
fields
such
as microbiology and genetics. Ultimately, these developments act as contributing factors to traditional medicine's success as well.
In other words
, people's
health
is now not only destined by the advancements in the field of medicine
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but can be positively affected by other areas of development too.
On the other hand
, having
Add the particle
to
show examples
look at the technological advancements, let us now look at the alarming growth of population and its consequences. Unfortunately, there appears to be
n
Add an article
a
show examples
egative correlation between the number of people and the access
of
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
healthy food and clean water. Following to uncalculated crowds in some areas, there might be shortages of food production, trouble in
acessing
Correct your spelling
accessing
clean water which may result in mediocre
health
conditions in people, if not poor.
For instance
, an average person in Bangladesh does not have the same
health
conditions
with
Verify preposition usage
as
show examples
a person living in Norway. In conclusion, I have described in
this
essay that advancements in both medical and supporting sectors would
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
an average person's overall
health
in the future.
However
Add a comma
,
show examples
I would like to emphasize that we need to be on top of the population trends in order to maintain
health
standars
Correct your spelling
standards
s
Add an article
the
show examples
ame for everybody.
Submitted by pamirkargin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: