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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people send and receive emails in business and in their personal life. Do the advantage of using the email outweigh they disadvantages?

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Many
people
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 send and receive
information
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 through
email
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 in both business and personal life. I believe the advantages of using
email
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 outweigh the drawbacks because it can save
time
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 and keep clear written
records
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,
although
Linking Words
people
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 may not always reply immediately. Using
email
Use synonyms
 brings two main benefits to
people
Use synonyms
’s lives
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 saving
time
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 and keeping
records
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 clear.
Firstly
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, before
email
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 became common,
people
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 often had to send letters by post, which took more
time
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 and required postage.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
email
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 allows
people
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 to send and receive
information
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 quickly and efficiently as long as they have access to the Internet.
This
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 is especially useful in business, where employees often need to share documents, arrange meetings and confirm schedules.
In addition
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,
email
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 can provide written
records
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 of important
information
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.
For example
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, if a meeting
time
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 is confirmed by
email
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, both the sender and the receiver can
check
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 the message later.
Therefore
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,
email
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 can reduce misunderstandings and make communication more reliable.
However
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, using
email
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also
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 has some disadvantages. If
people
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 do not
check
Use synonyms
 their inbox regularly, they may miss important
information
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, some invitations or work notices may be sent by
email
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, and
people
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 need to reply before a certain date. If they fail to
check
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 their
email
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 in
time
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, they may miss the deadline or lose an important opportunity. In conclusion, I believe the benefits of using
email
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 outweigh the disadvantages.
Email
Use synonyms
 can save
time
Use synonyms
, reduce the cost of sending
information
Use synonyms
 and keep clear written
records
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 may miss messages if they do not
check
Use synonyms
 their inbox frequently,
this
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 problem can be avoided by developing the habit of checking
email
Use synonyms
 regularly.

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task response
For task response, add one more bad point about email, then show more clearly why the good side is still stronger.
task response
For task response, give a more full example from real work or home life to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use a few more linking words between ideas, but keep them natural.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make the second body paragraph more balanced with the first one by adding one more supporting sentence.
task response
For task response, you answer the question clearly and give your opinion from the start.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are on topic and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main idea and the order is easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Efficiency
  • Timely Decisions
  • Cost-Effective
  • Written Record
  • Accessibility
  • Environmental Benefits
  • Information Overload
  • Security Risks
  • Cyber-attacks
  • Phishing
  • Impersonal
  • Personal and Professional Relationships
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