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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days, children tend to spend a great deal of time playing computer games. Some believe this is a beneficial trend while others think it is detrimental.Which viewpoint do you agree with?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #time #computer #games #believe #trend
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People like to play games from early ages, but
now
Correct your spelling
no
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 more children would love to play computer games.
This
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 topic is
debateable
Correct your spelling
debatable
. Various studies suggest us, in
this
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 present scenario electronic computer games account of a high chunk proportion of their
time
Use synonyms
 for
m
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the
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ajority of
a
Add an article
the
an
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dolescent in a day. In,
this
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 essay we will discuss the various negative aspects in which their health or life affected. Every parent would love to watch their children playing some kind of sports in fields, but now in
this
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technology driven
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technology-driven
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 era that’s a dying trend. As
,
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apply
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 many young ones spend hours in front of their PC, their physical movement is directly affected
with
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by
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this
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. Sitting on
c
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a
the
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hair for almost all day will definitely affect their posture and may
led
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lead
be led
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 to muscle problems in future, sometimes they are so busy
in
Verify preposition usage
apply
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playing
g
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the
a
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ame they even forgot to eat.
Moreover
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, with less interaction with other population their ability to easily socially interact with
other
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others
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 will ruins. If
,
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apply
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 someone is sitting in
s
Add an article
the
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ame room with
s
Add an article
a
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tranger they would not able to start
c
Add an article
a
the
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onversation because for them
it’s seems
Change the verb form
it seems
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to
Replace the word
too
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 hard. Continually, with
time
Use synonyms
 they are going to like the virtual world in which they spend their most of
time
Use synonyms
 and after that
time
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, for them to engage with
this
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 real world is like a big hurdle to conquer. In the conclusion
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,
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I would like to wrap up
this
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 essay by saying that parents should need to consider the adverse effect of electronic gaming on their offspring health and encourage them to go outside, play with
f
Add an article
a
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riend, rather
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then
Replace the word
than
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 spending
time
Use synonyms
 in front of
s
Add an article
the
a
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creen.
Submitted by harmeetbajwaa on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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