In achieving personal happiness, our relationships with family, friends,and colleagues are more important than work and wealth. Do you agree ordisagree with this
With the ever-increasing population and competition, it has become really important to maintain a healthy work-life balance. It is said that a strong social circle is crucial for a happy life, more important than money and designation. I completely agree with the statement.
Mental wellbeing should be given equal priority if not more, than what is given to physical health. A strong support network consisting of family, friends and colleagues helps reduce stress and improve the overall quality of life.
Furthermore
, they can also
be present to assist in the time of need, both emotionally as well as monetarily. For instance
, If someone requires a sum on money urgently, it can be easily borrowed from someone in his social group.
Having said that, the importance of wealth and work cannot be completely ignored. Money is required to fulfil the basic human needs of food, shelter and clothing. But, the desire to earn wealth and prestige comes with stress, anxiety and often leads to comparisons with peers. This
imbalance of high ambitions coupled with growth in stress,
often leads to depression. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, recently a news story mentioned about the suicide of a well renowned Bollywood actor, who had i
mmense fortuneAdd an article
the
an
,
but was suffering from loneliness. Remove the comma
apply
Thus
, it can be clearly derived that money is not happiness.
To summarize, while it is essential to have wealth to support basic human needs of hunger and shelter,it is not the only answer to happiness. A company of close, trustworthy humans ensures smooth sailing of life, even during the toughest of times.Submitted by vkukreja1 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite