IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Stress-related illness are becoming increasing common. what do you think are cause of this?What solutions can you suggest?

#illness
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People are increasing sickness because of
stress
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the causes of
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stress related
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stress-related
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 sickness including working long hours and
job
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 pressure and will
also
Linking Words
 discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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the solutions to
this
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 problem including
work
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-life balance and
diet
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. People are working for long hours than before.
In addition
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, they have more
job
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 pressure.People
work
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 for
l
Add an article
a
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ong hour because of high competition in
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j
Add an article
the
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ob world.
For example
Linking Words
, In
I
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the
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T department, R&D department is very high competitive so people
has
Change the verb form
have
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 to
work
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 for
l
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a
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ong hour to prove themselves.To get grow people has to
work
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 more and
work
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 for
l
Add an article
a
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onger hour.
This
Linking Words
 results in mental and physical suffering because they have to
work
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 overtime and have to
work
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 more. In order to reduce the
Use synonyms
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
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 illness,people should
work
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 for
l
Add an article
a
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imited period of time and they should focus on their
diet
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 and workout along with family.People need to set up their priorities in their life including family,
work
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, health and
then
Linking Words
 should
work
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accordingly
Linking Words
.
For instance
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, for some people family, health and
work
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 all are of same priorities so they will give time to their families , their
diet
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 and
work
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 out along with
work
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 which would help in reducing mental and physical sickness. In conclusion, in today's life
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,
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people are more prone to
stress
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay has discussed how working for long hours and
job
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 pressure causes
the
Remove the article
apply
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stress
Use synonyms
.And
this
Linking Words
 essay has discussed how managing
Use synonyms
work life-balance
Add a hyphen
work-life-balance
show examples
 and
diet
Use synonyms
 leads to get relief to the
stress
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by reena.malik1988 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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