As well as making money, businesses should have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities

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Concerning the issue of

influence

Add an article

the influence

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of enterprises on society, people hold different views. An army of people reckons that

besides

Linking Words

earning money, commercial organizations should

also

Linking Words

pays

Change the verb form

pay

show examples

attention to everything around them. From my perspective, I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement for many convincing reasons. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the appearance of many different companies each year has helped a lot in

advance

Wrong verb form

advancing

show examples

the national budget. Namely, with the domination of large groups like Apple or

Microsolf

Correct your spelling

Microsoft

, they often employ thousands of

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

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around the world

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apply

show examples

every single year with plenty of good remunerations. These are

trully

Correct your spelling

truly

helpful for reducing

jobless

Correct article usage

the jobless

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proportion,

Correct word choice

and

show examples

increasing profit, it

also

Linking Words

proved that enterprises usually take

cares

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care

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and

Change preposition

of and

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have responsibilities with

newbie

Fix the agreement mistake

newbies

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. Another good example is there are more and more private

businesses

Use synonyms

who

Correct pronoun usage

that

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are

focus

Wrong verb form

focused

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on medical service, their debut not only help doctors

can

Verb problem

apply

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get more modern

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

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to cure the patient but

also

Linking Words

reduce jostle in the hospital.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it can be

cleary

Correct your spelling

clearly

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seen that the came out of these

businesses

Use synonyms

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

plays an important part in our life.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, enterprises have to make specific environmental protection and

make sure

Verb problem

ensure

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a fresh air workplace for their employees. If they want to have a long time commercial campaigns and create

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good images for their groups, the

leader

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leaders

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have to

thinking

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think

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about solutions for the future as

use

Wrong verb form

using

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materials which are environmentally friendly.

Likewise

Linking Words

businesses

Use synonyms

should

creates

Change the verb form

create

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charity programs to help

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

poor people,

homeless

Correct article usage

the homeless

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and so on by taking a small portion of their annual profits. In summary, for the reasons mentioned above, it can be affirmed that

businesses

Use synonyms

needs

Change the verb form

need

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responsible

Add a missing verb

be responsible

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with communication if they can and afford it.

Submitted by phamnhung0007 on Thu Oct 15 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Social responsibilities
Corporate social responsibility
Ethical behavior
Societal impact
Stakeholders
Profit-driven
Public perception
Environmental sustainability
Community development
Human rights
Workplace safety
Altruism
Balanced approach
Accountability
Consumer loyalty

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As well as making money, businesses should have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In the past, knowledge is contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the adventages of this outweigh the disadventages.

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?