IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
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From the creation of our universe, human beings are always facing various kinds of troubles in their daily lives. While some agree that it is a matter of luck for many people and they should accept worst conditions, I side with those who believe that maybe we can tolerate bad
situation
Use synonyms
 but people around us will not. On the one hand, some people are of the standpoint that hard times are the best part of
life
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 as it teaches us many good lessons. To elaborate, when we are not facing any trouble or hardships, we simply can not learn the excitement of
life
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 which may hamper our personal growth process. Nelson Mandella,
for example
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,
have
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has
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 accepted his
unfavorable
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unfavourable
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 phase of
life
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 for 25 years. He spent most of the time in jail but during that period, he gains grit and encouragement which ultimately made him the
world renowned
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world-renowned
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 leader.
However
Linking Words
, I
dont
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don't
 agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe that some people are very strong emotionally but people around them especially family, can not tolerate
such
Linking Words
 situations. Blood relations like father and mother are someone, who can escalate things which have bad outcomes
,
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apply
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 if his
youngone
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young one
 is not improving his
situation
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, Asian communities in different
european
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European
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 countries often face troubles in finding opportunities and
accomodations
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accommodations
accommodating
accommodation
. It is an undeniable fact that they can surpass
these
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this situation
these situations
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situation
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 easily but back home, their families may
leads
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lead
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 towards depression and anxiety due to
continouous
Correct your spelling
continuous
 bad thoughts.
Therefore
Linking Words
, one should improve his bad period of
life
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, not for himself but for people around them. In
conlusion
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conclusion
,
life
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 undoubtedly have different unwanted shades and according to some people one should accept negative aspects as a part of
life
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, others,
however
Linking Words
, believe that people need to improve themselves and take things in
p
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a
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ositive direction.
Therefore
Linking Words
, on balance, I agree that people need to overcome their problems and keep moving towards
Add an article
a
show examples
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
situation
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 of
life
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.
Submitted by saeedullah1814 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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