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Band 7

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
In our modern world, working is a vital part of our lives. It is necessary in order to proceed with our lives.
However
, working should be a tool for our dreams and for a better
life
, it should not be our aim in
life
.
However
, some people could be a work-addict and they love working long hours and they only see the benefits of working long hours
such
 as a promotion or more income. Working long hours and leaving very little
time
 for leisure activities can be an obstacle for our dreams and for our
health
 in long term. If we consider both advantages and disadvantages, the disadvantages will overweigh.
Firstly
, people work too hard in order to get more outcome and get a promotion. With the help of the promotion and more income, they can buy a car or buy their dream house. Unfortunately, they are addicted to their jobs so that they generally cannot get a chance to spend enough
time
 in their dream house and their all effort is meaningless. So, our leisure
time
 is more important than working long hours.
Secondly
, gone are the days that people do not consider their
health
. Especially after people have seen COVID-19 world, they realized that money cannot buy
health
. In contrary, people realized that the more we work the easier our immune system gets sick. Our healths and our leisure more significant than our works. Work cannot make us happy if we are not eligible for a healthy
life
. So, the disadvantage of working hard overweigh in regards to our
health
. In conclusion, balance is the key to our lives. People should not overwork in order to have anything in
life
. We need to spend relaxation
time
 with our loved ones for our
health
 and for our happiness. At the end of the day, all we remember will be how happy we are, not how much we worked.
Submitted by aydanszade on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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