IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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Nowadays it is a common trend to admit elders in old-age
homes
Use synonyms
 rather
keeping
Change preposition
than keeping
show examples
at
Correct pronoun usage
them at
show examples
 home.
This
Linking Words
 essay intends to discuss its pros and cons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
this
Linking Words
 view of keeping old people away from the house at a separate place where all of the elder people are being taken care
by
Change preposition
of by
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 some officials casts a positive effect on their health, as older ones feel lonely at residence,
due to
Linking Words
 generation gap, youngers and adults of the family stays busy in their own daily tasks,
thus
Linking Words
, it is hard for family people to take care of elderly; but, at old age
homes
Use synonyms
 , all persons are of the same age and they do not need to elaborate on the topic they do discuss with each other.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is
easy
Correct word choice
easier
show examples
 for a person who was born in 1945 to talk about their times than to somebody who
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 born after 5 decades. Another huge advantage of using nursing
homes
Use synonyms
 is that there is always a doctor or a specialist available, so, in case of emergencies it is easy for them to see a doctor
instead
Linking Words
 of
homes
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are some downsides to
this
Linking Words
 view of putting the older person to old age home. The main negative side is that everyone needs their personal space and in elderly house
cares
Correct subject-verb agreement
care
show examples
 it is hard for them to get time for themselves because they are always surrounded by someone
such
Linking Words
 as their roommates or doctors or caretakers.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
grey-haired person starts to lose their grip on their memories and suffers
to
Change preposition
from
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 some brain diseases where they do not recognize their own children sometimes ,
as a result
Linking Words
 ,there are more chances for the family to lose their
elder
Correct your spelling
older
show examples
 ones even before death. In conclusion, it is evident that there are equal positive and negative perspectives of
this
Linking Words
 situation ,
therefore
Linking Words
 it is hard to say if
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 the best choice or not.

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement that introduces the main points of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on your main points and provide more supporting evidence or examples.
coherence cohesion
Create a clear introduction that introduces the topic and sets the tone for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Summarize the main points and provide a clear conclusion.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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