IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

I many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement. Discuss why it is so and the outcome of the situation. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#countries #people #move #part #country #retirement #outcome #situation #support
In
n
Add an article
a
show examples
owadays globalized world, it is common for people to move away from their original homes and countries,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 after
their
Change the pronoun
they
show examples
retire
Replace the word
retirement
show examples
 from work.
This
 allows living new experiences and
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
 new places. The main reason
of
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
this
 phenomena is the need for a change in peoples way of living. When one is at the end of their career path, a need to gain new experiences, visit new places and enhance
q
Add an article
the
show examples
uality of living is felt.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Additional
, many employees
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
received
 considerable bonuses after retirement and permanent payments from securing agencies that allows them to buy a
second
 house or travel
arround
Correct your spelling
around
 the world.
Secondly
,
Submitted by rodreyesm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: