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Writing Samples
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #educationalists #child #instrument
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Since the olden days,
music
Use synonyms
 has become a famous activity which most of the people like spending their time with it. In fact, even some academics believe that each younger ought to be learned on playing musical
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
.In my point of view, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as it would improve younger's
creativity
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 of
mind
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 and bring healthiness towards their mental health.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
creativity
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 is one of the
mind
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process
Change to a plural noun
processes
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, which should
be develop
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be developed
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 since in
the
Remove the article
apply
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childhood.
In particular
Linking Words
, as children would be easier to be bored in one direct learning,
music
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 is the best way to attract them in focusing their learning. Many studies
has
Change the verb form
have
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showed
Change the verb form
shown
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 that being
being
Remove the redundancy
apply
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studying
music
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improve
Change the verb form
improves
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 the
creativity
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 of people's
mind
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 because it triggers the right and left side of
b
Add an article
the
show examples
rain which working together in
a
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apply
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time.
As a result
Linking Words
,
by
Verify preposition usage
apply
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implementing musical items to be played in school would lead to the empowerment of
y
Add an article
the
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ounger's
mind
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, playing
music
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 instrumental by the teenager would bring
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
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 in their mental
healthness
Correct your spelling
healthiness
healthy ness
. In the contemporary world, it has become a trait, which children have to work out on many subjects in their study. Clearly, it could contribute to the depression among
this
Linking Words
 younger population because
this
Linking Words
 modern study
sytem
Correct your spelling
system
 has put up
p
Add an article
the
show examples
ressure in their early stage of life. Despite
this
Linking Words
 stressful life,
music
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 should be learned to them for relaxing purpose and lessening their burden on
s
Add an article
the
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tudy.
Thus
Linking Words
, implementing
music
Use synonyms
 in children's studying become a need, which could bring cheer over their faces, and bring positivity for their mental condition. In conclusion, suggesting
on
Verify preposition usage
apply
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teaching musical instrument toward children would affect them on their
creativity
Use synonyms
 of
mind
Use synonyms
 and healthier mental status, which people should aware
about
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
 it in order for beneficial of
y
Add an article
the
show examples
ounger generation.
Submitted by nabilahothman.769 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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