As well as making money, businesses should have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities

Concerning the issue of

influence

Add an article

the influence

show examples

of enterprises on society, people hold different views. An army of people reckons that

besides

earning money, commercial organizations should

also

pays

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pay

show examples

attention to everything around them. From my perspective, I strongly agree with

this

statement for many convincing reasons. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the appearance of many different companies each year has helped a lot in

advance

Wrong verb form

advancing

show examples

the national budget. Namely, with the domination of large groups like Apple or

Microsolf

Correct your spelling

Microsoft

, they often employ thousands of

staffs

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staff

show examples

around the world

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apply

show examples

every single year with plenty of good remunerations. These are

trully

Correct your spelling

truly

helpful for reducing

jobless

Correct article usage

the jobless

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proportion,

Correct word choice

and

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increasing profit, it

also

proved that enterprises usually take

cares

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care

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and

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of and

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have responsibilities with

newbie

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newbies

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. Another good example is there are more and more private

businesses

who

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

are

focus

Wrong verb form

focused

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on medical service, their debut not only help doctors

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

get more modern

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

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to cure the patient but

also

reduce jostle in the hospital.

Therefore

, it can be

cleary

Correct your spelling

clearly

show examples

seen that the came out of these

businesses

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

plays an important part in our life.

On the other hand

, enterprises have to make specific environmental protection and

make sure

Verb problem

ensure

show examples

a fresh air workplace for their employees. If they want to have a long time commercial campaigns and create

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good images for their groups, the

leader

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leaders

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have to

thinking

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think

show examples

about solutions for the future as

use

Wrong verb form

using

show examples

materials which are environmentally friendly.

Likewise

businesses

should

creates

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create

show examples

charity programs to help

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

poor people,

homeless

Correct article usage

the homeless

show examples

and so on by taking a small portion of their annual profits. In summary, for the reasons mentioned above, it can be affirmed that

businesses

needs

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need

show examples

responsible

Add a missing verb

be responsible

show examples

with communication if they can and afford it.

Submitted by phamnhung0007 on Wed Oct 21 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Social responsibilities
Corporate social responsibility
Ethical behavior
Societal impact
Stakeholders
Profit-driven
Public perception
Environmental sustainability
Community development
Human rights
Workplace safety
Altruism
Balanced approach
Accountability
Consumer loyalty

What to do next:

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As well as making money, businesses should have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

A map illustrating the evolution of the Lakeside area from 2000 to 2009

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centres. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that governments should use the money to provide faster means of public transport, while others are concerned that there are many more important priorities than public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Juvenile deliquency is on rise today. in our modern times , more and more adolescents are commiting crime. what are the possible reasons? is there any solution to this problem?