Due to so many young people dropping out from school, the rate of unemployment is increasing and it affects our society in different ways. In your opinion, how can this situation be improved?

#people #school #rate #unemployment #society #situation

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The

increase

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in the unemployment rate is due to the number of students dropping out of

school

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This

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increase

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in number affects society in numerous ways. In my opinion,

this

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can be resolved by adding practical studying with real-time experience in their courses.

This

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essay will explain the above-mentioned option by taking examples from newspapers and journals.

To begin

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with, the

increase

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school

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dropping out have risen a big concern in many nations, there are some possible solutions where

this

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problem can be resolved.

Firstly

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, including science and literature subjects in their main courses with practical studying.

In other words

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, teaching the child with real-time experience by giving examples through videos.

This

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would bring a lot of interest in student to learn more.

For instance

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, In Japan, most of the schools practice practical studying, and it dropped the

school

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discontinue percentage to 80% in 2018.

Therefore

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Add an article

the

show examples

ncrease in practical knowledge will bring attract the students to attend

school

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. In the same way, giving more importance to sports and other activities in the

school

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would potentially reduce the

school

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dropping out percentage.

This

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is because, most of the students are more likely to participate actively in sports,

as a result

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, teams will be formed and competitions will develop among students, and

this

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will bring a lot of interest in students to participate in

school

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activities.

For example

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, the latest survey by the New York Times revealed that 75% of students do not show interest in attending

school

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due to no sports activities in their schools.

Thus

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, including sports and other curricular activities would reduce the dropping number from the

school

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. The

increase

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in the unemployment rate is

also

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associated with

this

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dropping out of schools, and

this

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lead to a significant decrease in the economy due to less educated people in the country.

Therefore

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, In conclusion, it is clear that including practical knowledge and sports in their study will decrease the numbers of

school

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dropouts.

Submitted by njohngilbert on Fri Oct 23 2020

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Due to so many young people dropping out from school, the rate of unemployment is increasing and it affects our society in different ways. In your opinion, how can this situation be improved?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programmes. Do you agree or diagree?

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as hobbies and interests and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to stops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages. (IELTS 9, AC)

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?