Due to so many young people dropping out from school, the rate of unemployment is increasing and it affects our society in different ways. In your opinion, how can this situation be improved?

#people #school #rate #unemployment #society #situation

The

increase

in the unemployment rate is due to the number of students dropping out of

school

This

increase

in number affects society in numerous ways. In my opinion,

this

can be resolved by adding practical studying with real-time experience in their courses.

This

essay will explain the above-mentioned option by taking examples from newspapers and journals.

To begin

with, the

increase

school

dropping out have risen a big concern in many nations, there are some possible solutions where

this

problem can be resolved.

Firstly

, including science and literature subjects in their main courses with practical studying.

In other words

, teaching the child with real-time experience by giving examples through videos.

This

would bring a lot of interest in student to learn more.

For instance

, In Japan, most of the schools practice practical studying, and it dropped the

school

discontinue percentage to 80% in 2018.

Therefore

Add an article

the

show examples

ncrease in practical knowledge will bring attract the students to attend

school

. In the same way, giving more importance to sports and other activities in the

school

would potentially reduce the

school

dropping out percentage.

This

is because, most of the students are more likely to participate actively in sports,

as a result

, teams will be formed and competitions will develop among students, and

this

will bring a lot of interest in students to participate in

school

activities.

For example

, the latest survey by the New York Times revealed that 75% of students do not show interest in attending

school

due to no sports activities in their schools.

Thus

, including sports and other curricular activities would reduce the dropping number from the

school

. The

increase

in the unemployment rate is

also

associated with

this

dropping out of schools, and

this

lead to a significant decrease in the economy due to less educated people in the country.

Therefore

, In conclusion, it is clear that including practical knowledge and sports in their study will decrease the numbers of

school

dropouts.

Submitted by njohngilbert on Fri Oct 23 2020

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

325 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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