IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others think that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school
Some people think that being graduated from university and college is the right way for a career rose.
However
, another part claims
that is
 superior to work after finishing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
school. Both sides can be convenient due to people's preference. So bellow both statements will be discussed. On the one hand, developing your professional skills and your knowledge can be helpful to build a career. Nowadays, employees respect high
education
 diploma
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and look for your CV. So if you have that paper it will be your map for a bright future.
For example
, if two people with a diploma and within it, will be a candidate for one place, of course
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
the
first
 person will be chosen.
That is
 why studying at university can play a big role in your life.
On the other hand
, a lot
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
successful and rich people abandoned higher
education
.
For example
, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs founders of "Microsoft" and "Apple" respectively. They are the richest people in the modern world. So looking for their experience, we can conclude that not always success comes from a good
education
. If you work hard on your dream, a hobby can transform into the way of earning money. In conclusion, I would like to say that not in all situations
education
 can provide you
Verify preposition usage
with
show examples
a successful future. If you work and develop yourself constantly , you will achieve your goals. Getting high
education
 diploma or working straight after
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
graduation from school, it is dissection that every person claims due to his or her wishes.
Submitted by kartoseckam on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
What to do next:
Look at other essays: