You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you. You should write at least 150 words.

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing

this

letter to enquire regarding the availability of some of the electronic gadgets that I would like to buy.

However

, the goods I am about to mention is not available in the nearby shops in Varanasi.

Therefore

, it will be of great help if these products can be availed at your store. The products I wish to purchase are a pair of hair

straightener

Fix the agreement mistake

straighteners

show examples

and a hairdryer. It would be great if the company is Philips or Dyson. Perhaps, Dyson will be more preferable. Please let me know if these could be arranged and

also

their best-valued price. As I need them on an urgent basis, I would be happy to collect it from the store as soon as it is available.

However

, it would be great if you can let me know the time you can hold the products, as I live far away from your store. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Prachi Dwivedi

Submitted by Leena Kapoor on Tue Oct 27 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

166 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
More and more people are moving away from agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequence of this? What solutions can you offer
People in the recent times had started moving out from their agricultural background to relocate to cities to find a job. This essay will discuss what all are the consequences, of this move and also include possible solutions we can offer with the relevant examples in the below paragraphs.
<4
band
Although many people value their public parks, this space could be used other purpose such as residential areas for over growing population or to develop business and boost economics. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?
Green areas consider important by residences of cities. Some people believe that we can increase economic by building houses and business centres in the current parks location.
8
band
24.Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The world is developing at an unprecedented pace, every day is different. So, some claim that nowadays too many choices are given to us. Considering education and employment, I agree with this opinion.
8
band
New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
Nowadays, youngsters' leisure time is completely transformed by recent innovations. This essay will cover some pros and cons of this statement and discuss which one, is of a higher impact.
5.5
band
Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. •In what ways are computers a hindrance? •What is your opinion?
Recently, the debate whether computers are a hindrance or a blessing has become highly disputatious. Supporters validate that they are more efficient and quicker than humans, on the other hand, opponents proclaim that computers decrease our social skills and ability to communicate face-to-face. Therefore I should mention the advantages and disadvantages for you to judge, shouldn't I? This essay will discuss both the pros and cons.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

More and more people are moving away from agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequence of this? What solutions can you offer

Although many people value their public parks, this space could be used other purpose such as residential areas for over growing population or to develop business and boost economics. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

24.Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others feel that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. •In what ways are computers a hindrance? •What is your opinion?