Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

Indeed, economic growth
assists
Wrong verb form
has assisted
show examples
enormous nations
to perfect
Change preposition
in perfecting
show examples
citizens’
quality
of life in recent decades.
While
some
people
think the important
shocial
Correct your spelling
social
responsibilities are losing at the same time which brings negative impacts to the society. In my opinion, I support
people
to improve their living
quality
through
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
and
this
trend brings more benefits than drawbacks. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
values
can be better prevented after fulfilling
people
’s basic needs.
According to
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, human beings have five catalogues of needs: physical, safety, love and belongings, esteem, and self-actualization. In his theory, higher needs in the hierarchy begin to emerge when
people
feel they have sufficiently satisfied the previous need.
For example
, having social connections is related to better physical health and,
conversely
, feeling isolated has negative consequences for health and well-being.
On the contrary
, it is hard to imagine that residents of
a
Change the article
an
show examples
undeveloped country can maintain their
values
while
they are living
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty. To
straggling
Wrong verb form
struggle to
show examples
survival
Replace the word
survive
show examples
, the poor might have
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
possibility
to commit
Change preposition
of committing
show examples
a crime
such
as robbery and thievery. As shown in the recent news, the crime rates are dramatically higher in
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
unstable and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Third World countries.
Hence
, to maintain the valued social traditions like respect, fairness and responsibility, citizens should have
owned
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a better
quality
of life
firstly
Change the word
first
show examples
.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that some communities and individuals ignored
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
values
purposely
for earning
Change preposition
to earn
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
massive profits illegally. In
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
cases, I believe that the authorities can introduce
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
fairer and
strict
Replace the word
stricter
show examples
business regulations and laws to regulate
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
unfair
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
show examples
and illegal commercial actions.
For example
, there are two types of rip-offs well known nowadays, which are Ponzi
Schemes
and Pyramid
Schemes
. Commonly, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
schemes
make participants
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that they would actually earn returns from their investments. Since the facts of the
schemes
Change noun form
scheme's
schemes'
show examples
exposures, several countries have listed these kinds of commercial products as unlawful acts.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
a result, the
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
and regulations helped
people
to develop
economy
Add an article
the economy
an economy
show examples
in a fair way to maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
values
while
improving
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
. In conclusion, even though there are some commercial actions betraying the social
values
for earning illegal profits. I believe that under the supervision system, the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
’s life
quality
will bring more merits to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, and
also
it can help to prevent valuable social qualities.
Submitted by fanganqi79 on

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Word Count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • economic development
  • social values
  • materialism
  • community welfare
  • sustainable technologies
  • environmental degradation
  • social stratification
  • social cohesion
  • economic status
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