shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities.

In our present era,shopping is

shopping is

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

considered as the best pastime for youngsters.people have their own perspectives when it comes to shopping.Some people believe that apart from it, youth should be encouraged to do some other useful activities.In

this

essay, we will discuss the reasons more deeply. Currently, with the coming of movies and advertisements citizens of younger generations are more attracted to

this

area than the older people and have made

this

their favourite hobby.They are rushing behind the modern trends of their idols, imitating their ideas.In short,

this

also

a marketing strategy.More and more youngsters getting addicted to

this

hobby inclines the sales profit of products.

Hence

those who

maintains

Change the verb form

maintain

show examples

the interest with modern clothing and accessories

tends

Change the verb form

tend

show examples

to spare extra

time

for shopping. undeniably,a large amount of money is getting wasted on shopping.

Moreover

, it is just a waste of

time

and

time

is the only thing that cannot be retrieved in

this

world.In my opinion, youth must be distracted towards activities other than shopping like painting, reading and physical exercise which helps them maintain a healthy mind and body.They should learn something new and be able to express themselves as they grow mature. Ultimately,Shopping as a pastime is good

upto

Correct your spelling

up to

some extent.But we cannot allow them to live in a bubble.They should be encouraged to spend more of their

liesure

Correct your spelling

leisure

time

on various physical activities that could help them live a more comfortable and meaningful life.

Submitted by aanetthomas03 on Wed Oct 28 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

241 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the internet?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disargee?

Some people think that learning news from newspapers is the best way. Others, however, say that there are more effective ways of learning news from other media. Discuss both points of view and give your opinions

Task 2- Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statemen