Some people spend their time in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community or even better climate. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

A change in the everyday lifestyle is a prevailing improvement in human lives.

Although

Linking Words

, some people believe that staying in

one

Use synonyms

place can make

their

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

feel comfortable

whereas

Linking Words

another believe that moving places could get more benefits. From my perspective, moving a number of times throughout life, looking

Change preposition

for a

show examples

better job, house, community or even climate is a better lifestyle, at least for my generation. I will discuss both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

viewpoints with relevant examples.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the main advantage of staying in

one

Use synonyms

town for a

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

show examples

period is comfortable. To illustrate, some people believe that staying in

one

Use synonyms

site can make them feel easy and do not need to experience

Correct article usage

the

show examples

process of making

one

Use synonyms

place from stranger to familiar.

However

Linking Words

, at the same time, it will cause

their

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

feel

Fix the infinitive

to feel

show examples

bored with facing the same zone, the same streets and the meet the same people

Change preposition

apply

show examples

someday.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it will easily lead to having a bad mood which definitely affects their work efficiency. Comparatively, moving a number of times throughout life has many advantages.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it will get a chance to seek out new friendships and career opportunities.

For instance

Linking Words

, it

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

can make a new friend from a neighbour and

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

culture from the workplace.

Secondly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

move can be a good opportunity to set some personal health, financial and wellness goals and get involved in local civic or church groups. Learning new about yourself and the community can be a positive thing.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, moving

Change preposition

to a

show examples

new house might

also

Linking Words

come with some drawbacks

such

Linking Words

as costs, time for packing up and missing family and friends.

Change preposition

show examples

conclusion, from my point of

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

, moving to new accommodation is much better because we can attain a new experience and an enjoyable life.

o_unanan

Oct 30, 2020

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task achievement

Work on developing ideas more fully and clearly. Some points in your essay could be elaborated with further details or examples to improve understanding and relevance.

coherence cohesion

Try to strengthen the links between ideas and paragraphs by using more cohesive devices or transitions to improve the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your arguments well.

task achievement

You have addressed both views on the topic and provided your own opinion, fulfilling the task requirements effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

stability
community
economic opportunities
relocation
personal growth
diverse experiences
culture
adaptability
quality of life
recreational facilities
disruptive
emotional costs
profound
sense of belonging
globalized economy
professional network
job prospects
challenges
exposure
well-being

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Some people spend their time in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community or even better climate. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Air transport is increasingly used to export types of fruits and vegetables to countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. Some people say it is a good thing, but other people think it can't be justified. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. While other people think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both side and give your opinion

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