Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Importance
Correct article usage
The importance
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of money in living a cheerful
life
has become a debatable topic these days. Many opine that by minimizing the difference in the salaries of rich and poor
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
, society can become a happy place.
However
, I somewhat disagree with
this
view as happiness is not only dependent on financial stability but is
also
influenced by several other factors.
This
essay will discuss a few of these factors, followed by a reasonable conclusion. On one hand, money plays a vital role in a person's
life
as it can negate various
kind
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kinds
show examples
of stress related to payment of bills, family monetary requirements and
need
Correct article usage
the need
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of maintaining
Change preposition
to maintain
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the
Correct article usage
a
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lifestyle.
In other words
, it acts as a single solution to all monetary problems.
For example
, few people do more than 1
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
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to fulfil the financial demands of their family
due to
which they tend to live a hectic
as well as
stressful
life
.
Therefore
, money can be seen as a solution to various
daily-
Add a hyphen
daily-life-related
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life
related requisites.
On the other hand
, it has been believed by several individuals that factors
such
as stability in personal
life
also
has
Verb problem
play
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a crucial part in
human's
Change noun form
human
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happiness. To illustrate, many humans from the high-income class category are seen to be disturbed and sad
due to
personal problems with their
spouse
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spouses
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. Thereby, leading to a dissatisfied living. Another aspect could be the sense of accomplishment at the workplace.
Moreover
, having a stable and successful career
also
contributes majorly
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
a jovial society.
For instance
, people with consistently high-performing records are found to be more full of
life
than individuals with constraints in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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.
Hence
,
job-satisfaction
Correct your spelling
job satisfaction
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also
plays an essential part in
becoming
Verb problem
creating
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a cheerful environment.
To conclude
, I somewhat disagree with the belief that by decreasing the salary gap between affluent and
financially-deprived
Correct your spelling
financially deprived
show examples
humans, we can reach the goal of a happy society as finance is not the only aspect responsible for
ones'
Change noun form
one's
show examples
happiness.
Submitted by abhi on

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task response
Provide more varied examples and perhaps consider addressing counter-arguments to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Consider using transition words to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion present in the essay.
task response
Well-supported main points with relevant examples.
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