Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Importance
of money in living a cheerful Correct article usage
The importance
life
has become a debatable topic these days. Many opine that by minimizing the difference in the salaries of rich and poor individual
, society can become a happy place. Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
However
, I somewhat disagree with this
view as happiness is not only dependent on financial stability but is also
influenced by several other factors. This
essay will discuss a few of these factors, followed by a reasonable conclusion.
On one hand, money plays a vital role in a person's life
as it can negate various kind
of stress related to payment of bills, family monetary requirements and Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
need
Correct article usage
the need
of maintaining
Change preposition
to maintain
the
lifestyle. Correct article usage
a
In other words
, it acts as a single solution to all monetary problems. For example
, few people do more than 1 jobs
to fulfil the financial demands of their family Fix the agreement mistake
job
due to
which they tend to live a hectic as well as
stressful life
. Therefore
, money can be seen as a solution to various daily-
Add a hyphen
daily-life-related
life
related requisites.
On the other hand
, it has been believed by several individuals that factors such
as stability in personal life
also
has
a crucial part in Verb problem
play
human's
happiness. To illustrate, many humans from the high-income class category are seen to be disturbed and sad Change noun form
human
due to
personal problems with their spouse
. Thereby, leading to a dissatisfied living.
Another aspect could be the sense of accomplishment at the workplace. Fix the agreement mistake
spouses
Moreover
, having a stable and successful career also
contributes majorly in
a jovial society. Change preposition
to
For instance
, people with consistently high-performing records are found to be more full of life
than individuals with constraints in their career
. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
Hence
, job-satisfaction
Correct your spelling
job satisfaction
also
plays an essential part in becoming
a cheerful environment.
Verb problem
creating
To conclude
, I somewhat disagree with the belief that by decreasing the salary gap between affluent and financially-deprived
humans, we can reach the goal of a happy society as finance is not the only aspect responsible for Correct your spelling
financially deprived
ones'
happiness.Change noun form
one's
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task response
Provide more varied examples and perhaps consider addressing counter-arguments to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Consider using transition words to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion present in the essay.
task response
Well-supported main points with relevant examples.