Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements.

#people #schools #reward #students #show #results #improvements

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Students

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are hard-working folks who try their best to improve themselves, so it is only reasonable that they are rewarded for their efforts.

However

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, it is how

schools

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decide to spend their budget on

this

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matter

that is

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debatable. Whether they should spend their resources on

students

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that are making progress or

students

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that have actually achieved something, we are going to discuss both views and give a firm opinion about

this

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. Achievers will be the only

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

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benefiting if

schools

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choose the latter

strategy

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. Giving rewards is a way of showing appreciation to someone. It is clearly reasonable to reward

students

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who actually achieved, but it is still unfair

for

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those who

also

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strive for improvement

everyday

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every day

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Furthermore

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, the number of

students

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that actually manage to succeed in achieving is not great,

hence

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only a few actually benefit from

this

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. Only achievers will be lifted, supported and loved, and the vast majority will sink into the deep sea of despair.

This

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strategy

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clarifies the dark side of most school systems: you are only praised when you are good, but no one cares if you try your best to improve without achievements. The other

strategy

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however

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, is more logical. We define “strivers” as someone who devotes themselves to

Wrong verb form

doing

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something.

This

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term is undeniably wider than the term “achievers”.

This

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includes those who spend most of their time behaving well and doing their best to actually achieve, which logically includes “achievers”. With

this

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strategy

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, none will be left behind,

beside

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besides

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slackers, of course. It is a better way to reward

students

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, both those with high effort put into their work and those with actual achievements

while

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also

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snapping lazy folks back to reality. It does seem to cost more, but it is truly worth it. I don’t think

schools

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mind paying more to make everyone’s school lives better. After all, it all leads to a better society where

students

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get less depressed, where

students

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have fun studying, where

students

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consider

schools

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their

house

Fix the agreement mistake

houses

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, and where everyone strives for a better community. In conclusion, it is highly recommended that

schools

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adapt

Correct your spelling

adopt

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the

strategy

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of rewarding

students

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who strive for the better, and not only the “achievers” mentioned in the second paragraph. Regardless of any

rewarding

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reward

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system, I sincerely hope that

students

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this

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day and age will not suffer from any kind of mental illness and continue to improve themselves for the better.

Submitted by quynhtranhbh on Thu Jul 13 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

402 words

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Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe The purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society ,while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion