Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Importance
Correct article usage
The importance
show examples
of money in living a cheerful
life
has become a debatable topic these days. Many opine that by minimizing the difference in the salaries of rich and poor
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
, society can become a happy place.
However
, I somewhat disagree with
this
view as happiness is not only dependent on financial stability but is
also
influenced by several other factors.
This
essay will discuss a few of these factors, followed by a reasonable conclusion. On one hand, money plays a vital role in a person's
life
as it can negate various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of stress related to payment of bills, family monetary requirements and
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
of maintaining
Change preposition
to maintain
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lifestyle.
In other words
, it acts as a single solution to all monetary problems.
For example
, few people do more than 1
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
to fulfil the financial demands of their family
due to
which they tend to live a hectic
as well as
stressful
life
.
Therefore
, money can be seen as a solution to various
daily-
Add a hyphen
daily-life-related
show examples
life
related requisites.
On the other hand
, it has been believed by several individuals that factors
such
as stability in personal
life
also
has
Verb problem
play
show examples
a crucial part in
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
happiness. To illustrate, many humans from the high-income class category are seen to be disturbed and sad
due to
personal problems with their
spouse
Fix the agreement mistake
spouses
show examples
. Thereby, leading to a dissatisfied living. Another aspect could be the sense of accomplishment at the workplace.
Moreover
, having a stable and successful career
also
contributes majorly
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
a jovial society.
For instance
, people with consistently high-performing records are found to be more full of
life
than individuals with constraints in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Hence
,
job-satisfaction
Correct your spelling
job satisfaction
show examples
also
plays an essential part in
becoming
Verb problem
creating
show examples
a cheerful environment.
To conclude
, I somewhat disagree with the belief that by decreasing the salary gap between affluent and
financially-deprived
Correct your spelling
financially deprived
show examples
humans, we can reach the goal of a happy society as finance is not the only aspect responsible for
ones'
Change noun form
one's
show examples
happiness.
Submitted by abhi on

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task response
Provide more varied examples and perhaps consider addressing counter-arguments to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Consider using transition words to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion present in the essay.
task response
Well-supported main points with relevant examples.

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