Over the last few decades, there has been an increase in international tourism. Some people think that tourism is beneficial for local communities and should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#decades #tourism #people #communities

Global

tourism

-increase

Tourism

-beneficial-local communities-earning potential-eg, by selling handicraft material

such

as clothes, shoes. Even restaurants earn good

money

Add an article

the

show examples

ourist season

Encouraged-because

Add an article

The encouraged-because

show examples

national economy will

strenghen

Correct your spelling

strengthen

with international

tourism

To summarise, as aforementioned I opine with

Tourismis

Correct your spelling

Tourism is

the word that excites everybody to go outside the world and find new things. Some people made

this

a passion or for some employment. International

tourism

increasing day by day and its really beneficial for people and

also

encourage them. According to my opinion, I agree with

this

content and elaborate in future paragraphs. To begins with, technology really helps to increase

tourism

everywhere in the world because of the photographers or videomakers. The benefit of the continental

tourism

is the

money

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

like if foreigners come to visit in India, they will bring foreign

money

and they have to exchange their

money

into Indian currency through banks which will grow international rate.

Secondly

, it is beneficial for local communities people like food and clothing shopkeepers or hotel owners or transportation which

also

help them to earn

money

and grow their businesses.

Furthermore

tourism

also

encouraging a new generation to participate in

tourism

and become a tour guide. As many as a tour guide in the country is as much helpful for another country people to find new things

Verify preposition usage

show examples

Add an article

show examples

ifferent continent.

Moreover

, it

also

encourages to those people who are really good in their businesses,

for example

, if one individual is expert to making beautiful buildings, visitors more encourage him to make more new art or beautiful places

such

as home or any building design or any statue. To summarise, travelling is

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

beneficial

Replace the word

benefit

show examples

for everyone

Add the particle

show examples

nclude local people or foreign travellers. If government motivate

Verify preposition usage

apply

show examples

society pupil or launch some new tour guidelines that would be

Change the article

apply

show examples

wonderful for travellers.

Submitted by Simranjeet Singh on Mon Nov 02 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

298 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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