IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

After finishing school, some students go travelling or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do you think the advantages of gap years outweigh the disadvantages?

#school #students #work #period #time #university #gap #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Few students prefer travelling or obtaining employment for some time rather joining in the college after they complete schooling. I believe that the
break in
Add a hyphen
break-in
show examples
 their
education
 makes them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
explore the world. The main advantage to take break
post schooling
Add a hyphen
post-schooling
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is that makes young people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
learn many things about the world.
Adoloscents
Correct your spelling
Adolescents
 gain enormous knowledge by travelling to different places,
This
 enables them to learn
Verify preposition usage
about
show examples
various cultures and lifestyles. Employment gives
o
Add an article
the
show examples
pportunity to meet new people and expose to different work cultures.
Therefore
, working for
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
 prior to
join
Change the verb form
joining
show examples
in
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
university makes youngsters
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
know more about people and the correct way of treating them.
For example
, teenagers in America and Australia take
f
Add an article
a
show examples
ew years
b
Add the particle
to
show examples
reak to travel or work between their schooling and college to explore the world and learn about humankind. I believe that
this
 encourages young people to learn many new things which are not related to
education
.
Teenager's
Add an article
The teenager's
A teenager's
show examples
 taking
education
 gap may distract completely from studies and leads them to score poor grades when they rejoin in the Institution because they get
h
Add an article
a
show examples
uge break in their subject knowledge as travelling attracts them compared to studies.
Moreover
, the money they get in their
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 leads to eradicate the interest in
education
 and makes them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
take continuous breaks in academics.
For Instance
,
r
Add an article
a
show examples
ecent survey showed that 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of youngsters who took
g
Add an article
a
show examples
ap in their studies got poor marks when they rejoin in their colleges and few people took longer breaks. In conclusion,
although
 students
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 interest in their studies by taking
b
Add an article
a
show examples
reak, they learn many different things which
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 them in career and
therefore
 teenagers should prefer to take
g
Add an article
a
the
show examples
ap in their studies but for
l
Add an article
a
show examples
imited time.
Submitted by shravzammu15 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: