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Band 4

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmers #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
Nowadays, our society has changed significantly.There are a huge number of
people
 who are in need.Most
people
 think that free social
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
such
 as helping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charity,developing the countryside and teaching sports should be included in high
school
 courses.Personally,I strongly disagree that unpaid community service will take part in compulsory subjects.
Begin
Fix the infinitive
To begin
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 with, the main reason is students have their own duties
such
 as having homework or studying an extra class.
Then
 that
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 teenagers
do
Correct your spelling
to
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 not have their own
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
for spending
Change preposition
to spend
show examples
 in the field that they are interested in.After that,it will reduce their energy because they have various activities that they should do.Which can encourage them
for having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
 a bright future.
However
, if
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 strictly the
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
after
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
pupils do not want to work with the charity.
Then
 the result will not be useful.
For instance
, my
school
 usually go to help
who
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 living at the top of the hill.When we arrived ,some adolescents did not want to rebuild a house for
people
 in that area.That
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 did not
skilful
Add a missing verb
be skilful
show examples
 and lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
energy.
This
 is because they do not have any passion.
As a result
,they noticed that it was not their own
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
for doing
Change preposition
to do
show examples
this
 event.
Furthermore
, another main reason is the government should look forward and support expenditure.
Then
 they should provide a campaign
for persuading
Change preposition
to persuade
show examples
others.
Therefore
 it can decrease
duty
Correct article usage
the duty
show examples
 to a student.
For example
, in Japan,the government usually
help
Verb problem
provides
show examples
 community service.
Then
people
 who are in the countryside can gain benefits. In conclusion, free community events should not be compulsory for teenagers but it should be the responsibility of the government.
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
show examples
 should focus on core subjects
instead
 of unpaid activities.
Submitted by tweetyjahjahjah on

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