IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand and what measure could be taken to respond to this problem?

#water #resource #parts #world #demand #measure
Fresh
Correct your spelling
Freshwater
show examples
water
 need is rising more and more in our century but places without
water
 are increasing
by
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
 many reasons. If we need to count these reasons, today
water
 sources
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 made dirty by people.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
Additional
,
a
Add an article
the
show examples
gricultural need is reducing
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
 share per person.
However
, if people will be
morecareful
Correct your spelling
more careful
 about releasing their dirty
water
 and decreasing the agricultural need,
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
 sources would be enough for all the people around the World. The main reason for a decrease
of
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
 sources is pollution.
For example
, people at home clean their dishes, floors, windows and they use
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
 to clean all of these or a big factory needs
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
 in their daily routine. All of these needs create dirty
water
 and
this
 dirty
water
 will be mixed with
fresh
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
water
 sources and it will
made
Change the verb form
be made
make
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
big amount
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
water
 dirty. Another reason is
b
Add the particle
to
show examples
e agricultural need. The population of the World is rising day by day .
Therefore
, the need for food rising parallel to
this
. Of course
Add a comma
,
show examples
we can count a lot of solutions to solve those issues.
First
 of all
Add a comma
,
show examples
people should be more responsible
about
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
 their waste. City rulers, governments and individuals must know their responsibilities and take precautions to stop dirty
water
mixedwith
Correct your spelling
mixed with
 fresh
water
. For sink to agricultural use is modern farming methods. Farmers should use less
water
 to continue their farming.
water
 will be shared more equally and places which need fresh
water
 will have the
water
 that they need. To conclude, fresh
water
’s equal distribution is one of the biggest problems
of
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 the world. So many scientists working to solve
this
 important issue of
f
Add an article
the
show examples
uture and even now. I hope humanity will take action which is going to find a solution and give a bright future to the new generation. (315 words)
Submitted by alican.yenice.iletisim on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: