IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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These days, some
students
Use synonyms
 are eager to learn about other
subjects
Use synonyms
besides
Linking Words
 their
majors
Use synonyms
 since learning other
subjects
Use synonyms
 can help them expand their knowledge and have a chance to find their real
interests
Use synonyms
.
However
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, there is a more persuasive opinion others insist that it is more crucial to focus on their main
subjects
Use synonyms
 because of the tight courses and job opportunities in the future. On the one hand, it is evident that studying other
subjects
Use synonyms
 can affect
students
Use synonyms
 positively.
This
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 is because when learners take other classes
subjects
Use synonyms
, they are able to broaden their knowledge.
For example
Linking Words
, some prestigious universities normally offer various kinds of
subjects
Use synonyms
 to the
students
Use synonyms
 to expand their information. By taking other
subjects
Use synonyms
,
students
Use synonyms
 can benefit from improving expertise
such
Linking Words
 as history, literature, science, and so on.
Moreover
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, even though some
students
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 have their own
majors
Use synonyms
, they are still struggling with finding real
interests
Use synonyms
.
While
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 taking a lot of classes, some
students
Use synonyms
 may be able to find their ultimate
interests
Use synonyms
 and change their major.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, concentrating on their primary major is significant for
students
Use synonyms
' lives.
This
Linking Words
 is because studying a main subject is not straightforward, which means they have to study hard to finish strict courses and achieve excellent grades. Some university
students
Use synonyms
 in South Korea go to the library or an academy in order to complete assignments.
Furthermore
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, A majority of
students
Use synonyms
 who have high GPAs tend to gain a great opportunity when they land a job.
For instance
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, a number of companies in Japan want to hire employees who have high GPAs in the university.
This
Linking Words
 means focusing on a main major plays a pivotal role in getting a better job in the future.
To sum up
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, it is apparent that learning other
subjects
Use synonyms
 allows
students
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 to enhance their abilities and to find real
interests
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it is more important for
students
Use synonyms
 to concentrate on their own
majors
Use synonyms
due to
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 the difficulties of studying
majors
Use synonyms
 and future jobs.

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coherence cohesion
The essay exhibits a clear and logical structure with good use of linking words. However, more deployment of sequential phrases could further enhance the flow between ideas in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
The candidate successfully takes a clear position throughout the response. But could benefit from more specific and detailed examples to back up his views in the body paragraphs.
lexical resource
The candidate has a good range of vocabulary and there is a clear understanding of the collocations and idiomatic expressions. However, the candidate could bring in more sophistication to their lexical complexity by avoiding the repetition of certain words or phrases.
grammatical range
The candidate uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. But the writing could be improved by varying the sentence structures. This would demonstrate a more diverse command of structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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