IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The growth of Online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
i
Add an article
an
show examples
ncrease in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
online sales are creating a threat of closing the physical shops in cities and towns. Considering the various aspects
such
Linking Words
 as higher margin and time leverages, I do concur that, one day, online sales will create a
dead end
Add a hyphen
dead-end
show examples
 to the physical shops. On one side, online sale offers higher discount in prices which in turn lead to huge savings to the consumer. In today’s world, people look for
m
Add an article
a
the
show examples
aximum discount
in
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
 prices in order to manage their living cost and for
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
survival due to the situations.
For instance
Linking Words
,
last
Linking Words
 month I have been into a shop for purchasing a gadget whereas when I checked the same in online it offered me a saving of around 50%
in addition
Linking Words
 to the savings which I got as
Correct your spelling
cashback
show examples
c
Add an article
a
show examples
ash back through my credit card purchase. I am sure these aspects will result in
the
Change the article
an
show examples
 increase
of
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 online sales and create a drought for physical outlets. One the other side, as compared to past, today, all are completely occupied with their work which resulted in less time for shopping. The main cause for
this
Linking Words
 is the huge pressure in the office and difficulty in managing the work within the office offers.
For example
Linking Words
, I had instances during peak hours where I couldn’t even spend days with my family. I am sure these will encourage families to do online shopping rather than physically visiting and wasting their manhours.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 increases the possibilities of shredding down the physical shops. To Conclude, online sales created a platform for many to reduce their cost of living as well as savings in their time. I am sure,
this
Linking Words
 will create a threat to the physical shops and slowly it will lead to the closure of these shops.
Submitted by justin john on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: