IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that university students should be required to attend classes. Others believe that going to classes should be optional for students. Which point of view do you agree with?

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University education plays a crucial role in a student's life.
While
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 some people think that attending
classes
Use synonyms
 should be made compulsory, others argue that
students
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 should not be forced for it. I completely agree with the former argument, and I will support my view with examples.
Firstly
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, attending
classes
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 helps
students
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 develop their fundamental skills.
This
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 is because the subjects are taught with their application and it helps
students
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 implement them on their jobs.
For example
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, medical
students
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 assist
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
qualified doctors when they treat their patients and it helps them understand the sensitivity of the actual scenario.
Furthermore
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, law
students
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 practice real cases in the moot courts to learn the jurisdiction and how legal battles are fought during a genuine
trail
Correct your spelling
trial
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.
On the other hand
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, if
students
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 do not attend
classes
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, most of them tend to indulge in unlawful activities.
This
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 is
due to
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 their adolescent age because of which there is a strong possibility that their mind may get inclined towards bad habits
such
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 as drugs and alcohol.
For instance
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, at
the
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apply
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Apex University, where class attendance is not a compulsion, cases of illegal activities are very high.
According to
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 their discipline department, approximately 60% of the
students
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 have
drugs
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drug
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 abuse and gang fight complaints registered against them.
In contrast
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, if attending lectures are made compulsory, there would be a good chance to reduce
such
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 deeds.
To conclude
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, in my opinion, if
classes
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 are made necessary to attend, not only
students
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 will learn application skills but
also
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 there will less
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
 of illicit actions.

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Task Response
The essay does not fully address the task, and the position on the issue is not clearly stated and developed. The arguments lack depth and clarity, which affects the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat coherent, with an introduction and conclusion present. However, the development of the main points lacks clarity and cohesiveness.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a satisfactory command of vocabulary and some attempt at using relevant examples to support the arguments. However, there is a need for a wider range of vocabulary and greater precision in word choice.
Grammatical Range
The essay shows reasonably accurate use of grammar and a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are errors in sentence structures and word usage, affecting the overall coherence and fluency of the essay.
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