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Band 6

Some people dislike changed in the society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. * why do some people want things to stay the same? * why should change me regarded as something positive?

#people #dislike #society #lives #change
Some
people
 argue about changing in different situations like environment and
lifestyle
, so some of them prefer to stop in these subjects and their thought is that things should not be changed too. I completely disagree with
this
 opinion, because staying on a
life
 without any
change
 would be awful for everyone. On the one hand, consistently, changing in some main factors is not the type of some
people
. In fact, there are some reasons for it,
firstly
,
this
 kind of person is afraid of
changing
Change the form of the verb
change
show examples
 in their
life
 and society
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they believe that will miss their obvious situation,
likewise
 will not acquire a future. In my opinion, it goes back to their negative attitude.
Secondly
, all alternatives have some costs,
for instance
, spending more money and energy,
also
, considering more time in it, so they prefer to avoid it.
Finally
, the risk power among
this
 kind of
people
 is lower than the positive persons, so
this
 aspect of their personality would be awful in their future.
On the other hand
, the
change
 in
life
 consistently has some positive affected on our
lifestyle
.
In other words
, the positive
change
 would lead to improvement in the level of our attitude in solving problems which perhaps we face during
life
.
for instance
, when we have a little
change
 in our shy spirit, certainly, we can develop self-confidence. Absolutely, the changes can raise our awareness about finding the most effective plans like a successful person. So it would have a lot of positive effects on our future
lifestyle
. Eventually, I completely agree with the alternative the positive
change
 to a monotonous
life
 deposit of a boring
lifestyle
. In conclusion, from my point of view, choosing a
life
 in which there is not
any
Correct determiner usage
no
show examples
change
, undoubtedly, would be a failure
life
, so accepting the positive alternative in our
life
 can assist
people
 in improving some of the main aspects of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay more clearly by having well-defined paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the questions posed by the topic. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize your argument.
task achievement
To fully satisfy the task, present a balanced discussion with clear and comprehensive ideas, and demonstrate an understanding of the prompt by addressing both questions effectively.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific and relevant examples. Examples help illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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